Addicted to the sun…

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This might sound stupid cause it’s exactly the sun that causes this, but does anyone else have an addiction to the sun? I have been a sun worshipper all my life, probably cause my mum was. She was also a manager of a sunbed shop so I took to that since I was 16. Stupid I know… 

I am currently in Gran Canaria, and was telling myself to be careful, stay in shade etc but i’ve done the opposite. I am lying in the sun but I do have a high factor on and keep applying every 20 mins or so. I tan easy and never burn. But I was thinking to myself, I actually have an addiction to the sun. Anyone else the same? 

I am still awaiting diagnosis my appt is in 2 weeks and my consultant is 90% sure its Melanoma, so I know how bloody stupid this post sounds when i’m waiting on a cancer diagnosis…