How to adjust and carry on

Hi , I am having trouble answering your post tonight, as to be honest it’s impossible to feel positive all of the time and I have a scan coming up soon and a lump that I’m not feeling very confident about. 

I got bored of feeling sorry for myself but I had to get to that point, I had to think about and list all the bad points to be able to move on. I had to decide that I didn’t want to worry more than I had to and decide what I needed to do instead of worrying. 

I found hope in other people that were still well, and in all the new improvements in treatments, and for every sad story I took them as a justification of why I was feeling anxious and accepted that it was ok to feel that way as who wouldn’t feel anxious? 

I read the coping sessions in Macmillan’s info and support sections - the link is below

https://www.macmillan.org.uk/information-and-support/coping/your-emotions/dealing-with-your-emotions/fear-and-anxiety.html

i joined a walking for health group, and later a cancer rehab gym and then walking netball and concentrated on getting fitter and eating well to help my immune system. 

I had some cognitive behavioural therapy, a workbook to change how you look at worrying it was a bit like the info in the link below

https://www.moodjuice.scot.nhs.uk/anxiety.asp

I try and let go of the worries I can’t do anything about, I know I will worry at scan time and result time, but that if all I do is worry I won’t have any fun and then all the extra time I’ve had will be a waste. 

To be honest as my cousin passed away from cancer in May after a bowel cancer diagnosis in March I felt a bit guilty that I was still here after a less than 12 month prognosis back in 2015. I get encouraged by the thought that immunotherapy is giving melanoma patients a real promise of long term remission but discouraged by the fact that doesn’t apply to everyone. 

So I can worry just as much about living into my 80’s and beyond as I can about hearing that I’m no longer clear. I get annoyed at procrastinating and not doing stuff, and then excuse myself for not always having the energy.

What are you struggling to cope and accept ? Would it help you to offload to us, or in a blog for yourself ? When I had a recurrence I found it helped to just off load stuff. I also appreciated the words of others here who understood that sometimes we just feel well a bit crappy. 

I agree with all you say and the very positive ways we can try to overcome our fears. It is hard all the time to stay positive but in the end worrying is only going to effect our health and the wellbeing of those around us .I am due a scan soon and know that also becomes a time of anxiety,but we who have had this condition for a while recognise it and try to keep busy and try to enjoy the simple things in life.I see friends who are supportive and also try to go walking and outings with my husband.Getting out in the fresh air works wonders .Try not to worry and every day is a new experience .

Hi MLD73 it does take a while to come to terms with having had cancer and all it entails. It might be worth you just listing what's worrying you the most and contacting the Macmillan nurse. I see from your profile that your biopsy showed 1a 0.57 Mm mitriotic rate of 1 whilst no one likes to get mm its about as good as it gets as it was caught very early before it could becom invasive. Try and concentrate of the positives which are the things you know rather than the negatives which are just your mind going into overdrive.