Oh this waiting time is so hard

Hi I do know what you are going through as 10 years ago I was in a similar position.I like you tried to keep busy to take my mind off it but I had times when I felt incredible fear and remember sitting up most of some nights downstairs with a duvet as I couldn’t sleep. However that was 10 years ago and you can see I am still here. The operation went ok and I stayed in hospital for 14 days. These days people are out much earlier and I didn’t feel I needed to be in for that length of time.They kept me in till they took the drains out.

My results showed no melanoma left in remaining nodes. It was only 7 years later when I had a relapse with spread internally with melanoma. I am at present having immunotherapy and feel very well I am able to live a normal life and went abroad two weeks ago for a holiday. I did have councilling years ago but now feel my illness has made me appreciate life more and most days I feel very positive. I feel this site is very helpful and informative. It is good to talk to people and also getting out into the fresh air with your dog. Macmillan is such a good ,caring organisation and you are in good hands. I agree the waiting can be the worst time.It is a good idea of yours to de clutter your house and try to get out with someone you can talk to Take care and it will soon be over.

Ah thank you very much for sharing your positive experience.

It does give hope  that there is life after, it has made me feel a bit lighter to hear from someone who understands. Some friends don't know what to say except 'be positive ' and 'put it to the back of your mind'.mmm!

Tomorrow is a new day and I will  do something positive. Thank you again

This is actually a reply to several posts on here tonight. Lots you are asking about waiting and being alone. I would bet that everyone on this site has been there. You all know what I mean. Two O'clock in the morning, maybe you have family maybe you don't. But at this time of day all you have is your loneliness and probably pain. But you're here now and there is always someone who'll chat, they won't judge and they won't have answers because there are none. But they will do their best to make the world seem a little less shitty. Yeh, we've all cried and wanted "it" to go away knowing that it will still be there tomorrow. And that's part of your answer, there will be a tomorrow. There are telephone numbers where you can talk to a real person and loads of chat rooms. The people who answer do so not just because "we've been there", they answer because they care. And a last thought before I waffle on too long. Look at the people posting their good wishes, they've been doing it for 3, 5, 10, 20 years. You'll see that everyone is different, so maybe it will be worse before its better but it will be new and different. Dying is only one possible outcome. You may become spiritually stronger or appreciative of some thing you've forgotten. For me I know the sun will rise and it may rise without me but I will know I tried. Get through the next few minutes, maybe read a few more posts on here, soon it will be a new day and maybe a less shitty one. 

Good morning everyone

Thank you so much for positivity.

Friday, up at  5am,  planning a positive day. More bags to a new charity shop that is opening here next week. Most of mine have gone to the cancer research shop of course.  Then a friend is giving me lovely reiki healing. Maybe followed by fish and chip lunch!.Then looking forward to my fav tv program tonight, gardeners world which is always makes me feel good, will probably but some pansies tomrow to plant for spring.  Thinking about my op is still in my mind but i  I feel better just planning the day. Wishing everyone a nice day

Hi I am so pleased you are going to have a very interesting and productive day. I love winter pansies and your writing has made me decide to go and get some this weekend.It is good to think of things that you like to do and if possible go and do them.I am off to my bead class today.I have been doing it for a year and the others are far better at it than me but I have been made so welcome and love going.A few years ago I wouldn’t have plucked up the courage to join a new group.Have a lovely day x