Hi. I’m newly diagnosed (3 weeks ago) with a melanoma which I had removed from my lower neck. I was told they had got it all out but am waiting for my wife excision and SNB.
What makes it challenging for me is that I am diabetic and in renal failure on dialysis and have just recovered from a serious bout of pneumonia and a blood clot in my heart and one in my lung so I’m on warfarin. The mole changed quite quickly and I had it looked at whilst I was in hospital. All this I can cope with but this recent diagnosis has really knocked me for six. My husband and family are trying to be positive and can’t understand why my emotions are so all over the place - I am usually very upbeat and just get on with things, But recently it feels like one day I am positive and the next I am convinced it has spread and I am going to die. Is this normal?
i am so scared - I don’t know what to expect from my upcoming procedures and keep thinking negatively. I know that it will just be a waiting game until it’s done and I get my results and that I shouldn’t worry and take every day as it comes, but I’m finding that difficult. I’ve only been married 11 months and I just cry all of the time thinking about the worst case scenario.
Any advise, words of wisdom or shared experiences would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for reading my twiddling on!!
Hi Helen and a very warm welcome to the online community
I'm sorry to hear that you've recently been diagnosed with melanoma and, yes, it's perfectly normal to be feeling as you do!
I was diagnosed with melanoma on my arm nearly 3 years ago now and I can remember feeling numb and scared and miserable and imagining the worst too. However, three years on my life is back to normal with me doing all the things I used to do - except for sitting in the sun!
I too was scared about having a wide local excision (WLE) and sentinel lymph node biopsy (SLNB) as I'd never had any type of operation before, let alone a general anaesthetic. I was particularly bothered about having a cannula in the back of my hand, as I'm rather squeamish, but I told the anaesthetist of my fears and he was really good at keeping me distracted and getting it in painlessly.
I'm more than happy to talk you through the lymphoscintrigraphy, which is the procedure to identify the sentinel lymph node, and what happened on the day of my operations and afterwards if you'd like me to.
Sending a big, supportive ((((hug))))
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
Hi , a second welcome to the group from me, I’m sorry to hear about your diabetes, dialysis, pneumonia, blood clot and now melanoma, it’s not surprising that your mind is going into a wobble. It’s great that your usually known for being upbeat but we can all flag when yet another blip hits us, sometimes our mind has to hit the rock bottom of feelings before we can get our positiveness going again. I am glad you felt able to twiddle on (I haven’t heard that expression before) 
I’m hoping that reading it back is sometimes just what you need to get the positivity back.
I haven’t had a WLE or SLNB, I’ve had one node removed in March but it was in my groin. I notice you said you were scared that it had spread and you were going to die. I had an occult primary meaning they couldn’t find it, or my body had already dealt with it, I was diagnosed when it had spread to many lymph nodes in 2015, so I think I know that rock bottom feeling, but I’ve been really fortunate with my treatment and I’m currently no evidence of disease, for the second time since being told I was incurable. I am still on treatment til March but I have a positive hope that I will come off treatment and remain cancer free for some time, and if that times long enough it feel the same as a cure even if the medical profession aren’t ready to call it that yet.
Im hoping you can get your positiveness back, it won’t be there all the time but if it can be there for longer than the down parts that’s a good start. Sending you positive vibes and an offer of a listening ear.
Take care KT
Hi
How are you doing? Have you had your wide local excision and sentinel lymph node biopsy yet?
x
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
