Hello. I am 45 with three children and got diagnosed with stage 1a melanoma last Wednesday. I really don't know how I'm supposed to be feeling. Inside I am shocked, upset and feel like I've had the stuffing knocked out of me but outside I'm trying to act like I'm fine and that its not too bad. My family are being supportive but also keep telling me that the cancer has already been cut out and that its all over so I'm saying I'm fine but I'm really not. I don't think they understand that this news is massive to me and all I really want to do is burst in to tears - am I overreacting? I'm waiting to hear when I will have the WLE and I'm sure once the results of this come back all ok I will be fine but it is still worrying me. Did anyone else feel like this?
Hi and a warm welcome to the online community
I'm sorry to read that you've been diagnosed with melanoma. There is no right or wrong way to feel when you've just been given this news. I remember only too well how numb I felt when I was told I had melanoma coming up to 3 years ago now.
Of course it's massive news and it will take a while before it's not the first thing you think about when you wake up and the last thing you think about before you go to sleep.
I'm presuming that the friends and family who are telling you that "it's all over" have never had cancer otherwise they would understand that saying that sort of thing is not helpful. However, they are saying it because they don't know what to say and they don't understand the implications of the diagnosis. It might help if you point them to this page on things to avoid saying and they can then see what they should be doing instead to help you come to terms with your diagnosis.
While it's true that the melanoma has been removed,and for most people that's all the treatment that they'll need, you'll have at least a year of 3 monthly check-ups and you must take care to protect yourself from the sun. Hopefully, you've already been given information about how to do this but, if not, let me know and I'll let you know what I was told.
Now would be a good time to educate your friends and family about the implications of melanoma so that they understand why you might turn down a day at the beach or ask them to sit in the shade when you're out.
Do come back and tell us how your WLE goes and if you want to ask anything just pop back on.
Sending a supportive ((hug))
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
I just wanted to wish you all the best with your WLE tomorrow
You should get your results within a few weeks but do check tomorrow as sometimes results can be delayed if the path labs are particularly busy.
x
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
Hi
I think that you're right that sometimes family and friends say things like "you'll be fine", etc because they've scared and don't want to think about the implications of a diagnosis.
How are you by the way? When you last contacted us you hadn't been diagnosed with melanoma but were worried that you might have it. Have you had a biopsy yet?
Talking of biopsies, you are right that a biopsy doesn't remove a melanoma but Lausop1234 has had an excision so her melanoma has been removed. The WLE is a 'belt and braces' approach to make sure no stray cells have been left behind.
Neither CT or MRI scans are used in the UK for this stage of melanoma. Are they routinely used in Canada then?
Do come back and tell us how you are.
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
