Mornings

Hi Frazzled I don’t think I have welcomed you yet, although I have been reading your posts and happy you have been receiving some really good support from the members here. 

I think it is natural for our minds to o we think things, especially when we don’t know all the facts and everything feels so scary. The fear of the unknown and what lies ahead is a terrible feeling. 

I read that you have applied to the Macmillan’s buddies service. Have you had any luck with that yet? It really is a wonderful service, and I am sure you will benefit from it. But please do keep posting here! It makes you feel better knowing you are with a group of people that understand how you feel. X 

I have and am waiting to hear back.just everything I feel frozen like I dont know what to do.. I go for my PET scan tomorrow  and then just waiting on docs or someone to tell me something.  Am just scared I know it sounds bad but I just wish the world would swallow me up..I dont mean to sound bad just all these feelings are so much. I have 5 kids. 2 still at home. And no one else. I just cant get my head around it.its like I'm physically frozen I want to do things and try to get on but I cant move just seem to be crying l the time. I feel so sorry for my 2 at home.. cause I cant stop crying.. like now I'm just rambling because all I know is I'm scared..

I completely understand. It’s like you are in limbo. When I was given my lung diagnoses my youngest was 13, and this was my 2nd diagnoses, so I knew it wasn’t good! My middle daughter had only just started university as well, and my youngest was just starting senior school.  I was petrified. I wasn’t with their dad anymore, so it pretty much felt like it was us against the world. 

My Macmillan nurse arranged for my youngest to have counselling, and even now she says that was the best thing she could of done. I also spoke to her school, and they were fantastic with her.  

These early days with all the tests and the uncertainty really are the worst. Whilst you wait for the buddies service to get back to you, remember you can always call the Macmillan support line and chat to someone there on 0808 808 00 00. 

I have 5 children all together the eldest 33 is married, the 28 and 20 year old are living life and the 18 and 17 yr old live with me. The youngest my only son is in college  well finished for the summer then he has plans for uni. The 18 yr old tries her best she goes out once a month but she has ADHD and it caused her problems making friends she just keeps telling me it will be ok and to just be happy.. I wish I could for them but in all seriousness I'm finding it all to much and I called to talk to them it didnt seem to make me feel better.. then with all of it going on last few weeks I've fallen. Behind on Bill's and their hounding me.. thank you for listening 

You have a lot going on, and it is hard to think about practical things like bills, but they will only get worse if you don’t sort them. I would make a list of all the bills that need paying, and work your way through them. If you are struggling to make the payments, then a phone call now to explain the situation is better than ignoring. Although it’s an added stress you don’t need at the moment, it might actually be a distraction for you. There is a Ask a Financial Guide  if you need help with finances too.