Hi everyone, 
first post here or anywhere about this.
Last year my partner was diagnosed suddenly with Lung cancer which had already entered the spine. No lung symptoms at all. It was a major shock to everyone. He was given radiotherapy immediately and then a targeted therapy which up til now has been really good. Last week it was discovered it had gone into his liver and so he's off that therapy and onto chemo next week.
He isn't handling it very well at all and seems to be suffering a great deal from anxiety and pre-chemo nerves resulting in sickness every day and not eating. He wasn't really like this much before. I'm hoping that this will improve once chemo starts, but I'm very worried about his resilience and mind set. Nothing I say or do makes any difference. He won't even read the literature, or join our local cancer support organisation for therapy or help.
Now, every time I even try and speak about anything to do with health, food, drinking, medication, the cancer, chemo side effects, etc etc, he shuts me down. He won't accept any advice and all he wants to do is lie in bed (even though he can walk about as he has strong legs). He's bitter and angry pretty much all the time, which is not doing our (adult) son any good at all either. I'm exhausted. He has no carers any more due to staff shortages and difficulties. He's not over or under weight and otherwise generally fit/healthy so he is able to do more than he thinks.
He's on two different types of anti-sickness pills, but that seems to make no difference. I'm very concerned as to how he'll deal with chemo and frankly how I will be able to help him with it if he won't accept any support that will actually help him.
Sorry for long intro - bit of a challenging day so far!
M
Hi M, Welcome to the group, but sorry you find yourself here. I am not surprised to hear that you are exhausted. It really does sound like your partner would benefit from therapy, it is a shame he wont join the local support group, but if he is like my other half, the more I suggest something, the more he wont do it. It is a very difficult situation you are in.
When I was diagnosed it was such an awful shock, and I went through all the emotions that your partner seems to be experiencing now. Anger, denial but I also experienced a feeling of grief for the life I once had. I wonder if this is what is happening with your partner.
I think you would also benefit from talking to someone. You can call the Macmillan support line on 0808 808 00 00 they are available 7 days a week from 8am until 8pm.
There are several people here in the lung group who are supporting loved ones with this disease, but there are also other support groups in the online community you can join.
You will find other people there who are in a similar situation to yourself.
I hope the chemo goes well for your partner. Hopefully once he gets into a routine with the treatment things will settle down for you both x
Hi and thanks for replying. I think you might be right re grieving. Also his anxiety has been very high over the last few days. Now we are in the hospital waiting for the actual chemo, he's actually eaten something and kept it down. More impatient to get it started than anxious now. Nurses make all the difference! 
I'll take a look at the family/carers forum, thank you. And also, he's more receptive to therapy today but we'll see how he reacts to the drugs.
Best wishes
X
