Hello all, I'm new to the community and I'm hoping that by sharing my experiences and all that's unfolded within the last month I'll be able to find solace amongst those who may be in the same boat.
Sorry for the long-winded post in advance!
A bit of preamble...
"You're a tough one, you know!" is something I always voice out to my mum whenever push comes to shove- health-wise or workplace dilemmas. Mum is persistent and stubborn, perhaps to a fault; she wouldn't let a sprained arm or cold stop her from doing strenuous work.
So hearing my mum crying out in agony from pains radiating from her chest to her left shoulder, as well as going through bouts of coughs for weeks began raise alarm bells in my head. It wasn't until I came sobbing to her on a Saturday morning about her symptoms and pleading with her to get herself seen to that we both made our way to A&E.
Much to my mum's annoyance, the queues were long and the waiting times even more so. After hours of trekking between departments for imaging and blood tests, they finally picked up on something: an elevation in a biomarker levels. Vague as that was, it was certainly enough to warrant a 2 AM transfer to Hammersmith where she was kept for further observation for a few days. The staff there were stellar, but all the same my mum hated being surrounded by four walls and hearing the constant beeps of monitors. It must have been so tedious. Whilst I personally would've liked to be given more than one hour to keep mum company, we both made the most of it by drawing and having a good giggle about the goings on in the ward she was admitted to.
Then came the day of mum's discharge from the hospital and of course, the findings from the scans.
"There's a very good chance that it could be cancer, but we still need to investigate further". Pretty hard to digest. Thoughts start racing around in my head and all I could do at the time was sit there in silence. How could you process such a thing? They did try to assure us of other non-cancerous explanation for mum's symptoms but I had an awful feeling that that wasn't the case.
After all the further scans and tests...
Fast forward a couple of weeks and we're both shattered from all the appointments - not least of all mum, all these dates to keep with really put her head in a spin - and we were both very anxious of the news to come.
I still don't know how I managed to keep myself together when the doctor solemnly told us, "It is, unfortunately, stage 3 lung cancer." Perhaps I'd gone totally numb. Mum on the other completely broken down in tears as we both held each other tightly. After the doctor and oncologist explained what further scans needed to be scheduled and expressing their sympathies, we made our way home. The mood was terribly sombre, to say the least. I did my damnest not break down on the phone as I gave the horrible news to my mum's employers as at this point, breathing has become a struggle for her as is and she can barely get a word in edgeways when upset.
So, here we are...
It's been a day or so after mum's diagnosis. I've cried buckets to myself at night, dreading about the future and how much pain she's endurint. All I can really do is be there for her and keep reassuring her that everything will work out. Thankfully, we've got people willing to help with food and finances. I hope with all heart that mum will be back to herself again someday.
Hi Madsss welcome to the group, but so sorry to hear about your mum. We all here know how terrifying it is to hear those words. All of the test in the early days does seem very gruelling, but they are necessary to get the correct diagnoses and treatment plan for your mum. Once all of these tests are back they will hold an MDT meeting, which is where your mums oncologist will meet with several other medical professionals to discuss your mums results, and make a treatment plan for your mum. Your mum will then have an appointment with the oncologist to explain this treatment plan, and get the ball the ball rolling. The waiting for this always seems to be the worst part, and you do seem to feel better once you know what to expect.
You did briefly mention finances. Money worries are stressful enough without a cancer diagnoses to worry about as well. There is an Ask The Expert section here in the community, where you can speak to a financial advisor about benefits etc that your mum may be entitled to. If you click on the link above it will take you to the page, where this is also a chat facility where you can talk to someone direct in private. You could also call the Macmillan support line on 0808 808 00 00 7 days a week from 8am until 8pm.
Talking to others who are going through a similar situation is very beneficial. There are a few people here in the lung group who are caring for loved ones with lung cancer. There are also other support groups here in the community where you could chat with other people who are caring for loved ones, but with many different cancer diagnoses. I will pop the link to those below for you.
Good luck with the results. Please let us know how your mum gets on x
