Single mum with lung cancer

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Hi Everyone,

Looking to get and give support.

I am 47 with a 3 year old and lung cancer as well as COPD. I also have lifelong disabilities with hearing and a substantially impaired forearm due to childhood mumps and bad accident.

I have just had my lobe removed and suffered a major pneumothorax after my lung biopsy. No one knows of my diagnosis as I want morality to continue for my daughter Megan. It would be so helpful to hear from others as I feel like I have to be strong all the time.

I stopped working as a psychologist when I had my daughter and I wanted to give her a solid foundation until school so this illness has mucked up my plans just like everyone else's.

Indian over 3 years ago

Good morning Fargo

be easy on yourself, you have just had major surgery ! & complications into the bargain. I also had a lobectomy back in December, made a really good recovery . I don’t have the other physical issues you are unfortunate to have, but have had a few rough days mentally, just angry & bursting into tears for no reason so I can only imagine how you’re feeling. I was chatting to one of my friends during one of my ‘down’ days, and her advice was simple (for me)

it’s ok not to be ok sometimes, you are blessed with a little girl & I really admire you giving her all of the best of you, but you also need to look after you. I’m sure the COPD & your other conditions don’t make things any easier, I’m just getting over a chest infection which scared the life outta me ! Could hardly breathe & had such a bad cough, so it must be rough for you.
fargo, don’t try to do things that will exhaust you, I know it must be hard when you have a lively toddler to look after !! Try to pace yourself, sit with your wee one & try things like painting, drawing, planting wee things that could grow on a windowsill (if you don’t have a garden) set aside time for yourself during the day just to relax. You sound like a really strong woman, but I think that is part of the problem, I’ve always been known as the funny one, who is always making others laugh & being “brave” when I was diagnosed so I felt the need to keep that up even when I didn’t feel like it. Let your friends & family help you as much as they can, that’s also a sign of strength. Be kind to yourself, try to accept that you’re not firing on all cylinders at the moment & allow yourself time to heal. It’s good to have this group, we are all here to support each other & sound off . Here anytime you need to talk.

you take care x

Good morning lovely people.

2nd CT scan on 17 April this tear (R upper lobectomy Dec. 2022) recent scan has shown my middle lobe is compressed. Having bronchial lavage on the 23rd May. Letter to GP from consultant described it as possible middle lobe syndrome, GP unsure what this is. Regular chest infections but one in December this year & a few weeks ago really floored me. Throat is quite raw & my voice is quite hoarse. Anyone able to suggest any ideas on what's going on with me ?

chellesimo over 3 years ago

Hi fargo, I know you have said that no one knows about your diagnosis, but I do hope you are getting some help at home? Any surgery takes time to get over, and having a small child to look after as well must be very tiring.

You say you feel like you have to be strong all the time, but you have to look after yourself so that you can be there for your daughter, and sometimes that means you need to ask for help. Don't burn yourself out. xx

“Try to be a rainbow, in somebody else's cloud” ~ Maya Angelou

Chelle

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