After 3 chemo cycles and 25 of 30 radiotherapy treatments for sclc my husband started to collapse/pass out. I managed with the help of a neighbour to get him out of the bedroom and into the car to take him for his 26th radiotherapy treatment. The hospital kept him in - the passing out was due to dehydration and lack of nutrients due to his inability to eat or drink due to extreme pain in swallowing. His oesophagus has been dreadfully burnt by the radiotherapy. They completed the remaining 5 radiotherapy treatments whilst he was in hospital but the remaining chemo cycles have been stopped. After 2 weeks in hospital he is now home. He has a huge raft of medication to take along with his 'normal' meds for his heart AF problem. He is a very strong, independent person and I'm finding it very difficult to get him to take the 13 different meds - different number of times a day; some with food - some 1 hour before or 2 hours after food. etc etc. plus his 'normal' meds. He says I'm nagging him; he says the nurses in the hospital weren't as horrid as I am. I'm at my wits end. All I want is for him to be better, to take the meds which I understand are necessary and most importantly for him to be happy and at ease. How can I deal with his well intentioned and totally understandable feeling that I'm not his friend anymore? I just love him so much; missed him like mad whilst he was in hospital for that fortnight, and only want what is in his best interests? Any advice would be so welcome.
Oh no zebra this sounds just awful, for hubby and yourself. Caring for a loved one with cancer is such a stressful and lonely experience. Trying to keep up with his medication must be very trying. I have had radiotherapy myself, and I know what radiation burn feels like, so I know how difficult it is for your husband to be swallowing water at the moment, let alone eat anything.
They say we always take things out on the ones we love most. This is often very true, and at the moment your husband will be feeling very scared, but won’t want you to see that, so his anger is coming out in other ways. I know it is hard, but know he doesn’t mean to get upset with you.
With the burn he needs to keep this as cool as possible. Get him to sip on ice lollies, or ice cubes to help keep his fluids up whilst cooling at the same time. I had a lot of ice cream whilst I was recovering. Soft foods, soups, mashed potato, custard, yoghurts, anything that was easy to slip down. It is horrid! But it will pass with time, although it may take a few weeks.
You are doing an amazing job zebra just keep doing what you are doing. Sometimes you need to be firm to be kind, he needs these meds to make him better. Are you a member of the Carers only forum here on the online community. If you haven’t joined yet, click on the highlight that I have added, and it will take you to the group. There you can also connect to other people who are supporting loved ones with cancer. You can also chat to someone on the Macmillan support line on 0808 808 00 00. They are available 7 days a week from 8am until 8pm.
I hope today is a better day for you both. I might not know all the answers, but happy to chat anytime here with you. Sometimes just coming here to off load your thoughts can help xx
