Hi There
About a year ago after an ultrasound/biopsy the consultant at the hospital found a small malignant tumour in one of my mums kidneys(this was found by accident as it was a scan of her bowel(which was clear btw)) they were not overly concerned as could have been there for a long time, since then she had a few other scans on the kidney and it hasn’t grown unsure of the size but it’s only small. Now earlier last year after having a chest scan for something about her heart they found a spot on her lung but again not concerned and to just monitor it, fast forward to about November last year after her last scan the consultant told her she has more spots on both lungs but said they would just refer her to discuss a treatment plan, no indication that these spots where cancer related. So off she goes on the 20th December to see about her treatment plan only to be told that due to her current disabilities etc they can’t treat her as it could further ruin her quality of life (as we have said surely that should be mums choice?) and told her not in so many words she was terminal (consultant she saw this time was not very bedside friendly) they took her and dad into a side room where they spoke to a nurse and mentioned at some point about palliative care also that she is to have another scan in March. She finally saw her lovely GP this week who recommended macmillan nurses so he referred her over and a nurse is coming to see her next week.
I feel for her so much as her mental health isn’t good as it is and since this diagnosis last December not a day goes by where she doesn’t cry, I’m just glad dad is with her 24/7 and I go round a few times a week and we manage to have lots of laughs and jokes, I told her she needs to get out of the house as much as she can as fitting indoors 24/7 isn’t doing her any good as it gives her too much time to dwell and my dad has his bad days as it’s getting him down too, but they know I will always go round if they need me. I am just glad I am close by for that reason. My mum is my absolute world and she has been through so much in the past 22 years, life is so unfair, she is 75.
What we don’t understand is how can they say the spots on her lungs is cancer without doing the necessary tests as after researching online about spots on the lungs they can be quite common as you get older as mum and dad said they just looked like tiny spots nothing more on the scan images? She even asked them about the persistent cough she’s had for a long time but they don’t think it’s related, but mums not so sure. My mum just feels like she’s been put on the scrap heap and that the hospital don’t care about her.
Sorry for rambling on just needed to vent.
Thank you, luckily I have my husband and 2 grown up sons to keep me sane, I do have a sister but she’s over 200 miles away and we are not close. So my parents only have myself and my little family close by. Just wish I could be there when the macmillan nurse visits on Wednesday but she didn’t know what time she was going to get to them.
btw my name is Jules too 
Hi Jules mum saw the Macmillan Nurse today, it went ok, but tbh not much to tell you about it, mum never asked about treatments or anything which I thought she was going to mention, probably forgot bless her. Mum did ask about her persistent cough she’s had for months and wether it could be down to her lungs and she said quite possibly, the consultant said otherwise 
The nurse mentioned about end of life care but mum isn’t in a postion where she feels she needs to discuss that end of things yet, which the nurse totally understood. Mum said she was lovely though and it’s nice to know Macmillan are only a phone call away if she needs them.
After I spoke to mum this afternoon I think she is slowly coming to terms with her diagnosis and taking each day as it comes, I will stand by her 110%. She asked me when I saw her yesterday will I look after my dad when she’s gone, we both told her off `I said look mum at the end of the day who knows who will go first, no body knows what’s around the corner, just try your best to put it to the back of your mind, I know it’s hard but try and carry on with life the best you can, while you are still reasonably well enough to do so, she agreed. Love her so much even at 51 I still need my mum AND my Dad and vice versa.
How are you doing Jules?
Take Care, if there are anymore updates will post it here.
jules (Worried) x
