Anxious

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Hello again guys . when I got up today I have this extreme feeling of dread as I approach my oncologist appointment on Monday. I know I have a large lesion on my left kidney and I have since had a chest scan which I will no doubt find out about on Monday. I have the best family and support but am so worried that I will be given a disastrous prognosis on Monday which I feel will be difficult to take. My wife will going with me but I’m not even thinking that will help either ‘as great as she is’ . I almost feel I do not want to go to this appointment as I have convinced myself that the news will be the worst of the worst . I am not an anxious person normally and have no history of mental health problems and I have spoken with nurses etc leading up to this but my anxiety is so high. I had my first panic attack a couple weeks ago too . I am petrified of hearing a bad prognosis and I do not feel I could deal with it . I know my symptons are advanced symptons and am convinced I am riddled with this stuff .  I do not go thirty seconds without this being on my mind . I cant concentrate on anything and hate being in my own . I am normally a strong humorous person and have become a shadow of my former self . Am I alone with these feelings ? 

  • Hi I really feel for you as I too suffer consent anxiety. All I can say is take each day at a time and I am sure when you read all the posts on here you will see even if it’s not the news you want, treatments are out there for everything. It’s not easy to tell yourself that but I am sure after your appointment you will feel better as speaking about your fears to a medical professional will help. It’s a continuing journey with kidney cancer, as after treatment we have regular scans, blood tests etc,  so trying to control anxiety is something with have to try and cope with. I have good days, bad days and very bad days. They found a serious heart problem on my ‘all clear’ annual scan so I have that to try and get my head around. Not had my cardio appointment yet. That’s in two weeks. I try to deep breath and look at the positives, once things are once found, whatever it is we will get treatment and monitored. I am sat cuddling my dog typing this. This helps me. 

  • Thanks very much cilla 

  • Philw, your anxiety is normal, and you are not alone. It's not easy to cope with a cancer diagnosis, especially in the first phase of total uncertainty. When I become anxious, I try to relax by walking in nature, watching favorites series, or going out to favorites restaurants with friends. Try to organize something that could help you not focus on your diagnosis for next weekend. On Monday you will know more about your prognosis; it's not a long wait. 

  • Sending you waves of positive vibrations for Monday Smile Leo