A different way of "life"

Hi Lindihop,

Your husband and you have a lot on your plate there. News of any cancer can be such a shock. Especially when you were ok just a few weeks before. It can be very hard to take. Such a massive word that just a few years ago people would avoid talking about it.

I feel for you having to watch as your husbands condition worsens. Posting on here will definitely help you if only a little. I was diagnosed with cancer last feb (2022) and it knocked the wind out of me for a while but i think it has been harder on my wife. She worries so much and even when i'm ok she thinks i'm 'being brave' or sparing her worries by not telling her. I keep promising to tell her everything, i feel, and i do.

Cancer treatments have come a long way in recent years. Maybe there will be hope for a positive course of action once your husbands team have consulted and formulated a way forward.

I have my fingers crossed for you both. Please do continue to post on here. So many people have trodden the path we're on and there is so much experience to draw on.

All the best for now....Del.

Hi Lindihop 

I feel your pain my husband has been diagnosed a few weeks ago like your husband he can just about get up and down stairs and watches clock for next lot of medication always in pain and sleeps sitting upright. I dont know what to do anymore. 

Your husband almost certainly would qualify for attendance allowance benefit if he applied. It's currently £401 pcm. I know that's not really the type of thing that's useful to you but every little helps !

• Hi Lindihop. 
  So sorry to hear the trauma your husband and you are experiencing. It’s physically and mentally exhausting. 
  I thought I’d just pass on the way I have solved the sleeping problem. 
  Due to the cancer (mets on lungs making breathing difficult) and co- morbidity of osteoporosis I too am unable to sleep on my my back. Attempts at trying to prop myself up with pillows never worked so I also ended up sleeping in my recliner arm chair. Like you my husband felt it necessary to use the sofa so as to be with me during the night. 
  We have solved the problem by buying adjustable beds. We now are back to sleeping in our bedroom and I sleep very well. I can definitely recommend it. 
  if this is a problem financially speak to Macmillan Nurse to see if they can help. And as Simon has recommended talk to them about attendance allowance. This is just the sort of thing it’s designed to help with. 

Can second the adjustable beds - I bought a dual control one whilst my husband was in hospital (he has stage 3 lung cancer and breathing is a struggle) The firm I chose is based near Oxford, and I am paying monthly - I consider the outlay well worth the use of part  of the attendance allowance. I also went for a built in rail which helps my husband safely get out of bed (and stops him falling out too!)