People!

Good - very sunny - Kent morning Koopmeister - I think you may have answered your own question by what you state in your third sentence. How open and honest are you when people speak to you about how you are feeling? "strong" "brave face". Now I may have got it wrong (quite possible) but if you aren't open with people and share your feelings - including perhaps being scared of the future - people won't be able to respond as you would like them to. We all try to protect our loved ones.

Are you a member of a support group? there you can be truly open because they aren't family/friends (although friendships may develop but on the basis of openness). Is there a Maggies near you? Maggies is a cancer support centre.

Finally do not forget your nurse specialist(s) which is(are) attached to your treatment centre - they are there to listen, support and advise. And when undergoing treatment/reviews are being asked "how are you?", tell 'em everything.

Finally and most importantly get plenty of hugs and laughs - may not cure but you feel so much better.

Want a natter and long distant hug then I'm here. Have a hug for starters.

All the best,

Pete X

Hi Koopmiester and a warm welcome to this corner of the community. I am Mike and I help out around our Lymphoma groups.

I don’t have Hodgkin's Lymphoma but for the past 25 years I have lived with and been treated multiple times for my 2 types of very rare T-Cell Non Hodgkins Lymphomas.

If your family and friends have not navigated the cancer journey themselves they tend to have no idea what is the best way to support you….. do they keep quiet?….. well that often is completely the wrong approach…… so people will take their lead from what they are picking up from you…….

As Tenterden has said….. if you are portraying strength and bravery your family and friends are going to take this as a positive so this is reflected in how they respond.

As a family over my 25 years we have been very open as to how things were going as honestly brings a completely different response from our family and friends.

Some of my treatment (Stem Cell Transplants) were done down to Glasgow (we stay in Inverness) so we were away from home for 4 weeks the first time then 7 weeks the second….. so the support from our family and friends was essential…… but we were open about the challenges and certainly did not put on a brave face….. yes we were pushing through but we were honest about the challenges…… so friends would do the 6-7 hr round trip just to take my wife out for lunch.

 Tenterden has highlighted Maggie's Centres these centres give amazing support.

You may want to check out the Lymphoma Action. Lymphoma Action is the main UK Lymphoma Specific Charity who have lots of good reliable information, videos..... basically all things Lymphoma....... pre, during and post treatment.

They run regular Support Platforms..... I highly recommend these groups as there is nothing better than talking with other who have walked the journey.

They also have a great Buddy Service where people can be linked up with someone who has walked the same treatment journey.

Lymphoma Action have a Lymphoma helpline on 0808 808 5555 open every week day from 10 till 3. This is a safe place to talk this through and get support.

We are here to chat.

This is one of the reasons I didn't tell about my diagnosis and treatment to more than the necessary people and those who I knew wouldn't act that way. Easier said than done, ofc, I have been working in the UK for 9 years but all my family and most of my close friends are back home, so I got away with this. 

A lot of people just want reassurance and good vibes and don't want to hear the struggles of the treatment and what you go through mentally. Some are scared of seeing themselves in this situation and hypothetically thinking about what they would do or feel - so not getting too involved is the best way for them to deal with it. #

But then, many other people have had experiences with cancer with family or friends and do actually the right think. Try to rely on these ones when you want to share your thoughts, I would say.