Is this normal

Hi, 

I don't think we can predict our reactions. When I got the all clear it was after weeks of processing my oncologist's prediction that the chemoradiation was unlikely to work completely because of the cancer invading the bone of my eye socket. She had talked eye removal. My first reaction was 'but I thought...', 'well I did not expect that...' Different oncologist and about 4 nurses were all grinning at me because obviously it was good news, but I didn't feel anything, or know how to react. I wasn't elated at all.

But a few weeks on i find myself having moments of pure joy as I'm washing up or cooking and I think 'wow, my life is back to how it was!' It's finally sinking in that the future and the eye I had taken away in my mind are back again. So I think it's a gradual process after all the trauma and uncertainty. Don't force it, it'll happen. Have a great life xx

Many thanks lovely I will trust the process .

Have a great life too xx

Hi yes it’s not an uncommon reaction. Even me little miss positive was deflated when the news no evidence of disease was given to me. I was static in oncologist s office. But then when we walked down the stairs I looked at my husband and said well what now. We drove  home in silence which is unusual for me. I soon came round but I think it was the fact from may 2018 to January 2019 our lives revolved around cancer. It was ok now what. 

you’ll get there we all do. 

I’ve stuck around on here to help others and in a way that helps me also. 

hugs Hazel 

You are definitely not alone. During my treatment I did the Macmillian buddy counselling. The lovely lady who called me weekly warned me that I may not feel excited when I get my first all clear! To be honest I couldn’t understand what she meant as I thought couldn’t wait for that day but yes the day came and yes for a few mins over the moon but then felt extremely sad and empty. I think everyone has covered it on previous posts and all so true.  I now know to prepare myself more for the check ups and know it’s going to be a bit of a crappy week but then it’s over and move on again. It’s hard when everyone is so excited for you but I think we’ve been through so much our poor brains are still processing the trauma and shock!  This forum is so good as it’s good to hear all our feelings are normal xx 

Yes. For all the time you're ill your life revolves around cancer. Then that focus us gone. It's great but takes some adjustments!

Sounds normal to me! Must be a relief. For me, my PET scan lit ups few places, so I'm waiting for my next plan!

scooter75 said:

my PET scan lit ups few places, so I'm waiting for my next plan!

I sympathise. I was crushed, I must admit. I had a biopsy rather than rescan which was thankfully OK. Fingers crossed for you

Thank you. I'm remaining positive. Glad it worked out for you

Thank you for posting the article, I found it very helpful.

Thanks for your reply 

I am so glad I'm not alone in this I wish they told me you may feel a bit flat after the news I could have prepared myself