Feeling low

I'm so sorry to hear what is happening to your family. Sending hugs and prayers. X

Oh Paula I can only give you a virtual hug. 

Statistics say one in two of us will get cancer..it's shocking considering that when I was a child "catching" cancer was a hidden not often spoken about condition. How things change. Modern lifestyles and an aging population. But losing family like this still kills us a little inside. I still mourn my Mum who died in 2012 but the mourning doesn't catch me unawares and has changed into fond loving remembrance.

You need time to grieve and you must let yourself. That loving remembering will come but there is a natural history to grief and that time is not yet. Just don't fall into the rabbit hole of regret and guilt. No parent would want to see their child there.

HPV driven oral cancer responds very well to radiation which I'm sure you know and recurrence isn't common so though it's hard try too put your husbands chances completely away to a place you can't find easily. I saw my oncologist for the last time in May. My discharge notes say that it is highly unlikely that my cancer will return and that I can consider myself cured.

Thank you Dani, life can be so bloody unfair can't it  

We nursed dad together and was all with him at the end, which I know will bring me comfort in the future, it's just so raw at the moment xxx

I'm so sorry to hear what your family have had to bear. Life can be so cruel. Thinking of you all.

Ray. 

Zooki said:

Thank you Dani, life can be so bloody unfair can't it

It can but all life has a purpose. Things will get easier and you’ll do your dad proud. Look after yourself and your mum. Xxx

Paula,

You and your family are having a really rough ride.  My thoughts are with you. 

From someone who has had 3 appearances of this cancer, whilst I know that you can never fully shut out the fear of a reoccurrence, my advice is to live for the moment and do things as a family that you can do today and not put off until tomorrow.  Try to forget that fear, but know that the routine checks and the ability to contact your team at any time if there are concerns will give you a great safety net underneath that fear.

Make happy memories as a family. x

Thank you Peter 

Hi Paula virtual,hug from me and a picture of a poppy in our garden as a virtual bouquet. Dani has put everything into words that I would have said. I lost my dear dad to lung cancer in 1986 I was 29:now I forget the cancer and remember the happy times, mum was 2002 bowel cancer I too remember the happy times notbyhe awful memories. I did have grief counselling over my mums has it was sudden and all over in 2 weeks. It helped ti speak to a total stranger. 
re hubby our cancers have great responses and once we get to year 2 reoccurrence is extremely rare please don’t waste time thinking if the what maybes  concentrate on life’s for living. 

Hugs  Hazel 

Thank you Hazel, and what a beautiful poppy xx