Tonsil Cancer / Radiation Therapy advice

Hi Yb7  

So sorry you find yourself here with us.

Children are remarkably resilient and I think girls are much more empathic even at that young age. They will surprise you so don't be too scared of how they will be. I think you just have to be honest and tell them their Dad is going to hurt for a while but it's only to be better.

Do you have family who can help take/collect the girls from school and help with the housework?

You are going to need some support in getting to hospital and in day to day management of looking after pain relief and feeding. Have the hospital offered you a stomach feeding tube? I would really push for a PEG which will enable you to get food down when you can't swallow and more importantly it will be hidden (I had a nasogastric tube and I must say I looked a bit of a fright).

Stay with us. We can help you through

Macmillan have some generic info HERE

Hi Danis given a good resume. Our grandson was 8 we told him Nana had a poorly throat we didn’t  mention cancer he knows now as he’s now 14. I did involve him in the feeding tube he used to help his Granada flush it out and mix my salt water rinses. Children are far more resilient than we give them credit for. 
Tears are perfectly acceptable let the tear  take care of your treatment but you take care of yourself any help offered take it not a time to be totally independent. 
stick with us on here we’re all happy to help if we can 

hugs

Hazel x

Although I didn’t have chemotherapy, I had two surgeries and radiotherapy. I have a 19yo son who witnessed me going through it although I didn’t want him at the hospital following my surgeries, only when I got home did he see me. I was tired a lot but I was up front and honest with him and he understood.

Although your children are younger, kids have a lot going on in their own lives and I found my son to be wrapped up in his own world a lot. Not that I was complaining, I was glad this was the case. My advice would be to be open and honest with them, that way they can perhaps mentally try and picture how you’ll be as you go through this journey and they’ll know what to expect. 

Chemo Radiotherapy can be quite a difficult treatment but some miss the harshest side effects, dental support will sort out your teeth issues, your children will understand that you are having treatment to make you better,  just try to explain to them that it will take a little time for recovery and not to be alarmed with any temporary appearance changes, try keep them as fully informed as possible.

Hi Yb7

So sorry to hear about your recent diagnosis I was 56 when diagnosed youngest son was 17 but my Granddaughter was only 8. I told my two sons that it was cancer but told Grandaughter it was something stuck in my throat which had to have treatment, She was upset but coped really well I told them all I would look shocking, probably be really ill and have a feeding PEG. showed her and sons some photos of me having treatment etc.  ‘Cancer ‘is a really scary word for most people it’s a decision only you can make but family/Mcmillan Nurses can also help you decide if your struggling what to say.

Definitely get family and friends to support you all physically ( cooking /cleaning/food shop( online) washing/ getting girls to (from)school etc/ lifts to and from Hospital.like Dani said  (and emotionally).

.Also consider maybe letting their teachers  know that you will be having treatment ( you don’t have to go into details)for a while and it may affect your daughters. 

I feel for you having 6 teeth out ( I had to have 8) wasn’t great for two days after but then things improved take some strong paid meds and have some tissues ready as mine bled quite abit ).

Feeding peg can also mean an overnight stay in Hospital . Many of us have cramping and pain for a few days - a week or so but most of us agree it was a lifesaver as fluids/medicatiion and Nutritional feed goes directly into stomach. My Grandaughter loved flushing out the tube and helping me set up the feeding pump I had…there will be options to use a pump( day or night) and also wear it on your back in a special little rucksack.

I know it doesn’t feel like it as it’ must be so overwhelming for you but we are all here day( and a couple of us are still on at night) it’s a very tough treatment but also doable.

Sending you strength and a warm welcome

Debbie

Thank you

Thank you Debbielouise for taking the time to respond.

 Churchill Radiation Unit, have suggested that I bring the girls in to see the machine and physically touch it, which should reassure them and I have reached out to their school and they will help.

Appreciate the insight that you have given, that really helps! This is a amazing community and I hope that you are OK now? It sounds like you have been on a crazy journey yourself. Please take care and thank you again 

Hi,

i am so sorry to have you here, but you are at the safe place with us.  I was 49 (3 years ago) when i was diagnosed with base of tongue cancer (robotic surgery plus 5 tooth out) and my son was 13, and my daughter just turned 4. 
My daughter “knew” i was sick, couldn’t understand totally, but she knew. My son knew about the cancer and we spoke about it openly. 
I do hope you are having help from family/friends as you will feel poorly.
I spoke to my kids schools from day 1 and we had a great help from everyone. I have a strong personality, but i learned to ask for help, or if someone offered it i said “yes, thank you”.
personally, i was/am very open about the cancer to everyone and, as much was difficult i tried not to think about myself in the way why me, or feeling sorry for myself, i just feel to get better. 
when you have young kids it is difficult as you are worried more, and i just wished for my daughter to stay alive until she is older.

Now, after 3 years i would recommend help therapy to the whole family. No matter how kids are responding, good talk is s good talk for kids to understand.
My daughter is showing now attachment issues (and, it is connected to my sickness as she is scared for me etc.), and just about to start some therapy after the holidays. 

Whatever you decide to do with your girls, i am sure you know them the best and how they can/will react on any news.
Good luck with your journey… 

If you have any questions pls just ask, take care x

Marta