Always worried

Hi Flowerpot

I'm so sorry to hear how down you are feeling and with no family that you feel able to talk to.  Macmillan has a chatline open 8am to 8pm here:

https://www.macmillan.org.uk/cancer-information-and-support/get-help/chat-online

Or you can always talk to someone on 0808 808 00 00 8am to 8pm

I'm am sorry if I am out of line here, but your family sounds quite selfish (unless it's their way of coping, some people can't.)  But the whole community on here is supportive and helpful.  So you aren't alone in this.

Love and hugs

Hazel x

Flowerpot said:

couldn't understand why I wasn't joining in alot of the plans, she kept asking what was wrong

Flowerpot said:

links to video's about beating cancer, living healthy and alternative choices.

A lot of us know exactly how this feels. It makes me angry for you. It feels so unfair. 
What happens to our mouths and throats is beyond description and it makes me so impatient with friends and family who won’t try to understand. 
Putting on a brave face and accepting a kick up the a… from them really doesn’t work. 
I’ll remind you of the Peter Harvey article that sophie66 linked. 
Print a few copies out and distribute it. Perhaps they will understand, give you space when you need it and listen when you need that. 
Hugs. 

https://www.workingwithcancer.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/After-the-treatment-finishes-then-what.pdf

Thanks Hazel, I think my family expect me to be back to normal now, I look fine so I suppose they can't understand I'm not 100% myself. This has been a big step for me to chat on this site but I'm not ready to call anyone. Just been to see a performance at my local village hall and ended up crying in the toilets. I didn't know what it was about until I was there and it was all based on one of the performers experience of loosing her legs and fingers through sepsis and her journey in hosipital and recover. It was very intense and moving but kicked up memories of my time in hospital and recovery at home. exhausted now x

Hi Flowerpot

I am sorry to hear about your experience with the performance you just saw. Everything is still so fresh and raw for you.

The same thing happens with me when I see shows related to cancer so I try to avoid them if at all possible. All the emotions get stirred up again. I know that others might be different in this respect but they are definitely a no no for me.

Hope you are feeling a little better today.

Sending hugs

Lyn

x

Thanks Sophie, You think it's over but it doesn't take much to bring those concerns up to the surface. I have to face it that triggers will happen and it's going to be part of my life now. x

Aaaaw bless you.  I know what you mean, my family keep saying how well I look and twice today I was told I look good (which is nice of course, but they don't say it normally.)  I think it's because I just get on with things and look fine.  But Any programs or performances with hospitals and surgeries get me to thinking.

This forum is brilliant for just 'talking' to people who knows what you are going through and are able to truly empathise with how you are feeling.

Sending a big hug.

Hazel x

Hi Flowerpot 

today I am 8 months post treatment and I still feel tired lunchtimes. I take my daily nana nap and was taking them for years as we lived in Africa where it’s hot. So I don’t feel ashamed about it. 

I’m sorry your family is behaving like this. Thankfully I’ve not experienced this and I’m constantly told to slow down . 

the symptoms you describe I have too as well as a post nasal drip and constant dry cough. A friend of mine is a doctor and the head specialist ENT nurse is a friend of mine. They keep reassuring me that this is normal and we’ve gone through the mill. 

this forum is a godsend. This post and the responses are golden as I came here for a pick me up and got it. 

hang in there. You’re doing great. And most of all enjoy your nap. It’s your right ! 

Hello Flower Pot

I am nearly 5 months on from treatment and what you are feeling I would say is natural. I have similar feelings and thoughts.  If you are feel it would help contact your consultant or GP for reassurce.  Remember the treatment was brutal and physically and psychologically it will have affected you. Sending encouraging hugs to you x Jackie  

Thanks for posting Desr, it has helped to read how other folk have gone through this and that what I'm experiencing and thinking is all ok. I feel sometimes that I'm now defined by what I've had and am going through. When I see people that's what they mention.... how well I'm now looking rather than, 'what have you been up to?' So I'm daily having to say Oh doing much better thanks, nearly back to normal etc etc. It's been lovely knowing so many people care but it's a constant reminder of what happen.

Hi flowerpot reading your post and you saying that the whole experience defines you. Like I said previously  the treatment as you are well aware is brutal. Some people seem to think that once treatment is over then it's done and you will or are supposed to be feeling much better. Ha I wish! But I can relate with the fine thanks or getting better. Where inside you are still struggling and wanting to scream sometimes. I am afraid to open up other than on here for fear people think I am attention seeking! Nothing could be further from the truth! Thank goodness for the amazing and supportive people on here.

Sending you good vibes, hugs and love! You will get through this. Always here x Jackie x