New diagnosis

Hello Tazlettie 

Welcome to the Community. Can I ask whether you are in the UK? It's just the name

Waiting for results is absolutely awful but you will feel better once a plan is in place

It sounds as if your partner could do with a visit to his GP to discuss treating this anxiety. Many forum members in the past have had antidepressants and sleeping pills temporarily; just to get over the initial shock. Sleep deprivation plays havoc with your mind let alone having to cope with the fear of the cancer.

Macmillan provide free counselling which might be something he can look into. Look at this page COUNSELLING

Counselling before treatment from Macmillan was provided free to me and although I'm pretty level headed and pragmatic it did help.

I hope you can find something.

Stay with us and we will all here try to help where we can

Best wishes

thank you Yes I’m in the uk, he had a gp appointment this wee k which was a complete waste of time it ended up being with a counsellor who asked him if he could cook to take his mind of it, his working hours and his lifestyle, all of which are not the issue . He is going back Monday to sees go to try and get something 

Contact macmillan at the link I gave you. Have you contact details for his Clinical Nurse Specialist? Get them to speak to your GP about sleeping pills. 
Sadly many GPs are completely out of their depth dealing with cancer patients’ needs unless it’s spelled out to them. Many of us  need help sleeping in the early days. 
The road is rocky enough as it is. Anything to make it easier must surely be a good thing but we have to find our own way far too often. 
Do let us know how you get on. 

I will try that thank you 

Hi Tazletie. Welcome from me Dani has given sound advise. I can’t add to that.  But I will say for me the waiting was the most nerve racking part. Once a treatment plan was in place everything just followed on. I had some terrible nightmares whike waiting for results from the scans. 
you’ve found us on here so please rant away we never judge we’ve all been there. 

Hazel x

Hi Tazlettie

Finding out you have cancer when you have been perfectly healthy is a terrible shock and takes time to get your head around. Waiting for test results and a plan to combat the cancer is the worst. I do sympathise with you and your partner. The terrible fear of the unknown is just awful. However after you get through this time and your partner has a treatment plan in place dare I say things become a bit easier. You get focused on the treatment and getting through to the other side. Head and neck cancers are usually very treatable if caught early so you and your partner need to hold onto that thought. I think the GP amongst other things  was maybe trying to tell your partner that distraction is a technique that sometimes help you cope.I found that keeping busy did help get through the time of uncertainty before my treatment was confirmed. However at night when you are asleep everything comes rushing to the front of your mind again. You and your partner will get through this terrible time and move forward.

I had jaw cancer and after treatment am now cancer free and living my life to the max again. There is definitely light at the end of the tunnel so hold on. You will be invaluable in giving your partner the support he needs but look after yourself as well.

Lyn

• Hi Tazlettie, the initial shock of the news is a lot to take in and process.  The waiting for results is awful and overwhelming.  Like the others have replied, seek advice and support from the MacMillan, also the GP can prescribe some medication that may help him, with the anxiety.  My husband was diagnosed with mouth cancer and secondary cancer of the lymph node in June he was fit and healthy working full time prior to this.  The first few months all seem a bit blurry now but I remember that overwhelming feeling of everything being out of our control and that made my husband and me feel anxious.  Supporting my husband and trying to not show him my worries or fears was difficult.  My head felt it was spinning and I felt constantly churned up and sick.  So I joined this group and it was my saving grace I felt a relief to speak to people, who had been through this and they had wealth of knowledge and advice.  Which helped me get through them days which I will always be grateful for.  There is always someone to help, glad you have joined. 

Thank you Hazel he is finding it particularly hard at night time soon as he gets into bed he becomes anxious, we’ve got breathing exercises on repeat. We’re hoping we hear something this week which I know will help him a lot. Thank you for ur advice 

Thank you he is struggling with it, his panic attacks are getting bigger , he’s extremely agitated and feels he can’t cope with it.