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So sorry Arbee75  to see you here. 
You’re in shock which is understandable and you need time to grieve. I spent a good while not telling my husband how serious things were going to get. 
BUT. They will and your wife needs to know soon. Our nearest and dearest surprise us with how well they cope. Don’t get wrapped up with guilt. 

Im sure she must suspect something if you have been carrying this around for a month. I think she needs to go with you to your oncologist appointment and while you are there make sure you both understand everything. You can’t do this on your own. 
Stay with us. There are lots of people to help you along. 

Hi Arbee75 sorry you've found yourself in here. Were a small friendly bunch .As Dani has said your wife needs to know sooner rather than later. If you don’t tell her it’s unfair in both of you. She will be stronger than you realise and she really would be better going to appointments with you to help her get her head around what’s in store for both of you is my thought process.Am sure she will be aware that something is amiss us females are very intuitive.

Youre in shock at the moment I too had no symptoms prior to my diagnosis that came out of the blue. Head and neck cancers do respond well to treatment. 
Any questions just ask in here. 

Hazel 

Hi Arbre75

So sorry to hear about your recent diagnosis sadly we have all been where you are and totally understand the shock you feel at the moment. Its a very difficult and challenging time before starting treatment…. I can only agree with Dani and Hazel about telling your wife …… you need support and she needs to know( no matter how heartbreaking the thought of telling her is )x

I didnt think my husband would cope well … but he did..( and still is doing his best under the circumstaces).I put of telling my two sons for months but they coped better than I did telling them

Families are far more resilient that you think …… we are all here for you … but you also need your family x

Take Care

Debbie

Hi Arbee75, sorry to hear you are in the position you are. I agree with what the others have said, you really must tell your wife, you can't handle this on your own. You will need her to go along to appointments with you, you will also need her support in the coming weeks. The chances are she already knows something is worrying you, so it's unlikely to be out of the blue for her. I'm sure you will feel better once, you have told her. All the best

Ray.

Hi Arbee

The difficulty with cancer is trying to cope with the unknown, my wife has been my rock through every step of my tonsil cancer, and bowel cancer before that, I can understand your decision not to tell your wife at this time , cancer is hard on the patient and their loved ones.

Take care

Peter

thanks Hazel really appreciate your response.  I think it's the lack of what i'd see as 'big symptoms' that has really caused me to be shocked ; I was just totally unprepared and had no plan for how to react. 

Thanks Peter. It's the whole 'letting the genie out of the bottle' thing that is getting to me, i'm so used to keeping things to myself until i know how best to land something and this is the sort of thing where there's no right way.

Thanks Ray, it's been really odd this last 24 hours she keeps asking things about how my appointment with the ENT went as I can't disguise that my voice is going through a really hoarse wobbly few days (the one and only symptom i've had prior to diagnosis).  I keep playing it down but I just know she's onto me, so i'll have to confront it.

Thanks Debbie, there's tonnes of sense in what you're saying - it's like i'm building up to a 'D-Day' of tellig her and it's probably in itself causing me more stress than I need.  

Arbee75

You've got this ! Im sure once you tell her you will feel like a load has lifted ….believe me you will need the support from those you love x