Eating

Hi week 4 was when I had to have my NG tube fitted so I know how he feels. Encouragement is difficult. A carrot might not work now so you might need a stick. Let him read this thread for a start. Healing is dependent on proper nutrition. The better nourished he is the better will be his recovery. He will be in less pain if he gives his mouth a rest. He has a way to go yet. It’s not just the two weeks he has left but the radiation has a residual effect for another 2/3 weeks after treatment ends. His team will hospitalise him if he loses too much weight.
If the act of feeding through a PEG is admitting defeat I promise you it’s not. I fed overnight via a pump so I completely forgot about it and tried to make as much normality through the day.
Tell him he has nothing to prove.
You need to look after yourself. So you need to eat.
Truthfully my husband took over the cooking when I couldn’t eat and it didn’t bother me at all. Perhaps your husband doesn’t care much either? Or at least less than you imagine.
Hugs. It will be over soon

Hi as Dani says it’s not admitting defeat using his peg it’s what it’s there for I too had n g tube fitted end of week 3 it was my lifesaver. Nutrition and Hydration is vital to a good recovery. I credit mine with me being in a position to go away  8 weeks after treatment finished. As fir your eating don’t stress you need ti be fit and healthy for the time ahead. To be honest my hubby took over the cooking I couldn’t have cared less. Remember one day he cooked himself a rib eye the snell made me feel yuck never mind wanting to eat it. He took over cooking and deciding what to eat did a good 6 month I had little interest un food . But I ate to live not lived to eat. 
I had 35 radiotherapy sessions and 2 chemo. 
I was also told if I lost too much weight I would be hospitalised the dietician was always on my case. 
Hazel 

Hello.I had bilateral tonsillectomy, a PEG fitted prior to 6 weeks of treatment (30x radio & 6x chemo). I used my PEG from week 4 of treatment as I could no longer swallow anything more than a few sips of water. I linked up to a small pump & fed overnight. I had lost quite a bit of weight by week 3 but had been reluctant to use my PEG. My dietician came to see me on chemo day of week 4 & told me I had to start using my PEG. Once I accepted that it was the sensible thing to do & began night feeds I felt very relieved. It took the pressure & anxiety of eating away & meant I was getting all the calories necessary to get through treatment. I understand your husband’s reluctance but can say from my own experience that using his PEG will make the process much less stressful. Not being able to eat is horrible. I couldn’t look at food, the smell of cooking made me gag. I stayed upstairs when my family had meals. It’s hugely isolating. My husband did all the cooking & made sure that the rest of the family ate well in order to be able to look after me.
When I was in a very deep depression I contacted Macmillan & had 6 free phone counselling sessions. They were a lifesaver. Literally.
I am now 17 months post treatment, & life is good. Please get your husband to read our experiences. We’ve all been there & have lots of wisdom to pass on. Feel free to ask anything. 

Hi Fiona

This is a difficult time for you both but not eating will make it much worse. I was not offered a NG tube or a RIG as my radiotherapy was targeted at my jaw as it was a different cancer to yours. However I wish I had been offered one as eating was so painful and I lost 10k.g. rapidly and became quite weak. I was new to it all and was not on this forum at that stage so did not have the info I have now. If I had I would have asked for a NG tube. I had to just push on and did not know the questions to ask. It took me quite a while to regain the weight I had lost as I was not overweight when I started the radiotherapy.I looked very scrawny for quite a while.

Unfortunately you just have to accept that food is not going to taste good for some time and you just need to eat to keep up the calories.

My husband said he felt guilty eating around me but honestly I couldn't have care less as long as I did not have to get involved in preparing food for him. He did a great job of looking after himself.

You need to keep up your strength too. This will all pass you just have to go day by day and you will both get through.

Sending hugs

Lyn

x

I finished treatment in May. 

finished treatment in May 2023. 

Like your husband I was reluctant to use my peg at first, I remember feeling really flat about it. however I had to accept that temporarily my relationship with food would have to change,  it was no longer about enjoyment of eating, tbh the small amounts I was eating by week 4 were no longer enjoyable. It was purely about getting the calories in that I need to get through the last few weeks.

I would put all my 2cal drinks though first thing in the morning and last thing at night, so I didn't have to think about it the rest of the day. Just find system that works for you.

My experience was I continued not really wanting to eat for 3 weeks follwing treatment finishing. But it  came back. It's been really positive food wise  since, I'm only 14 weeks post treatment and back to eating lots of different food, I have lots of taste back.  Things will return to normal for him, but right now it's just about him focus on ticking off the next radiotherapy, that's how I had to push myself through it. 

It's hard stage that he's at and his body is taking on alot. I wishes him all the best. 

Hi Fiona,

I had a RIG/PEG and held off using it for almost 5 weeks, then just felt sick drinking the Fortisip drinks so I started putting them in the tube by wk5. I didn't like it, but I'm pragmatic enough, adapted to it for a few weeks. Losing too much weight will not help him recover! With this treatment (which we all agree is brutal!) you feel sick when eating, can't taste much, get heavy mucus that also increases the nausea, that's just how it is!

I was (am) strong willed too, but just concluded it's not for that long and I want to recover sooner, not later! So used the tune and kept up my calorie intake. He may still be able to drink and take meds orally, as I could, so tell him he should definitely keep doing it if he can, as this helps to keep the swallow muscles strong and that definitely contributed to a faster recovery from me according to my oncologist 

When I could start eating again I just did it robotically, didn't taste anything, but food is fuel. Within 3 months I was tasting lots of different dishes. My taste buds have come and gone and come back again over the last year, but I am practically back to normal - this coming Friday is my 1-year since my last RT!  But he must get food into him, in order to move forwards! Use the PEG, it's a no-brainer 

You should eat too, you can't afford to get run down and you need to keep your energy levels up.

Helen x