Keeping Busy

I can't remember how many times I apologised to my husband for "ruining  his life" So I know exactly how you feel. Acquired wisdom now lets me tell you to turn the tables around. What would your reaction be if she was ill?

RT isn't breeze, you will need her support but you can get away without having to be nursed too much. My husband did help but I managed to look after myself

Try not to worry

Hello,

Thank you for that good advice. I'm feeling more rational now.

Hi Steve. You will work it out. I moved into spare bedroom which was a blessing hibby could sleep without me disturbing him in the night as time went on I was up as much as I was asleep. Then j bay napped j. Daytime. I too am an avid reader  but I lost my love of books I watched box sets instead. Thankfully reading came back. I couldn’t have driven myself it was a 90 mjn journey and spent most of it  nodding off in car. As Dani says you would so the same if roles were  reversed. Try not to overthink it baby steps snd one day at a time. 
Hazel c

Thanks so much for this support.

Steve.

my husband was wonderful and took me to every single appointment. I found out i was claustrophobic when having ct scan and radiotherapy was hell i ended up on lorazepan and i would not have got through it without him being there. 

i think you will find our partners feel powerless in these situations and helping us gets through helps them to cope.  

Plus fatigue is real and is nothing like being slightly tired you will be lucky to stay awake and it definitely became worse as the weeks progressed. 

let her look after you … you deserve it and you would do the same if the situation was reversed. 

Is that your llama?   So lovely.  I have quite a few animals and found them very calming after I finished treatment all the best.  Lizzie

Hello,

Not mine, I'm afraid. He lives up the road. But you're calmer with a llama.

Hi Steve

You will work it out.  Lots of good advice has already been posted.  Probably the most important thing to remember is that your partner will possibly suffer more than you do through your treatment. 

Clearly you will have the effects of the treatment, but at least you will be in control (I use the term loosely!) of what is happening.  She, however, is "just along for the ride" and has to see you suffer side effects and have the worry of what the cancer is doing to you and your future with her.  Just ask my wife!

We all say be gentle on the people that care for us, but there are times when the treatment gets too much and you snap.  Totally unintentionally.  Maybe an early chat about what is to come would help both of you understand the other's needs and when you need support and when you need space.

Sometimes we need to let people help us - I am a most stubborn husband/patient - as that has a cathartic effect for them.

Glad to see you like walking as it is important to get as much exercise and fresh air as your body will allow.  However, you may need to be accompanied just in case your body decides enough is enough when you are out of the house.

Hi Steve You are over thinking the situation. Walk whenever you feel like it rest whenever , Eat as much as you can now and put weight on if possible. You will just need the bed and sofa and toilet and a bucket. Time will fly by no one has invented a way of stopping that yet. You will be fine all the best 

Thanks for that, Peter. 

We had a talk last night and she has prepared herself for these things.