Struggling

Hello Sandra , sorry to hear your news and current status, sounds very tough. I am behind your journey in terms of treatment so not sure I have great practical advice but plenty on here will. Just by talking (even on here) is a positive step in sharing your struggle and you are certainly not alone in facing up to the toughest of all challenges. Keep talking... 

Hi San. You and I have been in touch for a while and I know how sick you’ve been. It’s not going to be easy accessing counselling but I’d be really trying all avenues, GP and hospital 

Are you still in touch regularly with the team that treated you? Get them to harangue your GP. 
I would urge you to read Peter Harvey’s article on post treatment but I think you’re well past that. 
it could be a start but please please get your GP on board. 

https://www.workingwithcancer.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/After-the-treatment-finishes-then-what.pdf

Best wishes 

Hi San 

So sorry to read of your struggles after your treatments and how difficult it has been for you. The early days after treatments do take its toll on us. From what I have read you have been through so much physically and emotionally and  with so much weight loss I can understand how this will leave you feeling as you do. We go through so much and have to face challenges we would rather not have to face  which can leave us feeling traumatised and exhausted. I agree with Dani  in  seeking  extra support from your GP / hospital.  We are here to talk  too as we do understand having gone through similar experiences ourselves and  have come out the other side and can help with our tips. There is a way forward. Taking one day at a time and with help and support and understanding you can get to a better place.

Wishing you all the best 

Nicky

Hi San

I am so sorry to hear that you are having such a tough time at the moment. You have lost such a lot of weight and that must be really holding you back at the moment.

 Are you able to manage drink supplements such as Fortisip, Ensure etc. This was a lifeline to me while I was recovering from radiotherapy after my first op as I lost quite a bit of weight too though not as much as you. Taste is an issue after radiotherapy so everything can taste a bit grim to start with but as I needed the calories to help my recovery I just took it in as fuel rather than enjoying the taste.

I hope you can get some resolution with the nasogastric tube as it sounds as though it is a necessity at the moment.

Once you get that sorted you will feel more in control of things. I too went through an issue with depression after treatment and I told the doctor that I was feeling very demoralized while crying all the time in her surgery. She was wonderful and offered me antidepressants and counselling. At that time it was more that I needed to talk to someone to express how I was feeling so decided not to go down the antidepressant route although it was a good option. I found the talking really helped although there was a lot of crying too. The support that I got really made a difference as did coming on this forum where people really understood.

I started taking one day at a time making small goals such as walking to the end of the street or doing a small household task that was easy and achievable. Fast forward and I am now feeling really optimistic and achieving  so much every day and life is good again.

Hold in there as it does get better. Coming on this forum is a first step so keep going.

Lyn

Hi Sandra. I can only echo what the others have said. Keep talking, chase your GP, key health worker, etc to help you and get some fortisip 2kcal from your dietician people plus protein shakes to take on board as fuel to get that weight back up. 
I fought against a NG tube whilst I was having treatment and managed to avoid any weight loss, but I had a second biopsy at the beginning of July and have been in so much pain since that I lost over 25kg and they insisted I had one. It was horrible, but it did the trick and I’ve stabilised the weight. I had it removed last week and am now forcing myself to take 4-5 of those a day plus whatever else I can eat (still painful though!) to get the weight back up. You need fuel to help your body heal and everyone on here is amazing and will listen, advise or just let you rant if you need to. Good luck with everything - we’re here to help! Dave

Hello Sandra. So sorry to hear you are struggling. I am 5 months post treatment for right tonsil cancer plus lymph nodes I had bilateral tonsillectomy plus part of tongue removed at beginning of Jan. Then had a PEG feeding tube fitted. Treatment was 6 x chemo plus 30 x radio. I couldn’t eat orally from week 4 of treatment & was reliant on the PEG for all meds, hydration & feeding.  It was a huge struggle to get eating orally again, extremely distressing & sent me into deep depression. I contacted Macmillan & received 6 free counselling sessions over the phone. These were a lifesaver. 
I had the PEG removed at week 11 post treatment & was prescribed Scandishakes to supplement my eating (600 cal each) This community is a wonderful support network & is so helpful  
I understand how you are feeling  I never thought I would feel happiness again but am getting on with life, albeit with various side effects, & soon will return to work  
Contact Macmillan, your GP  etc  
We all understand, we are all here for you

Siân

Blod said:

I contacted Macmillan & received 6 free counselling sessions over the phone.

Hi Sian. I mention these frequently. I'm so glad they made a difference to how you felt and coped. 

Hi Dani

Yes they were extremely helpful

Hi San,

Sorry to hear your struggling, I cant add much to what is said on here apart from talk to your GP and ask Macmillian for counsilling. I've had times where I've felt really crap mentally luckily I've puled through. Just remember its OK not to feel OK.

Fighter of cancer T4N2M0 oropharyngeal SCC(grade 3, P16 positive) 2 cycles of chemotherapy and 30 radiotherapy sessions.

Lee