1 year in feel like starting all again

Hi surfer. Horrid news. So sorry. 
There are other immunotherapy protocols. Any chance of a word with your oncologist. There are a couple of folk here on Cemiplimab and a therapeutic HPV vaccine. Docetaxel is awful stuff. 
As for dragging yourself along….. I don’t know. Because you have to? 
Do you think maybe antidepressants from your GP might help?

I assumed because I failed on one type of immunotherapy then I couldn't have any others ?

I'll certainly ask though.

Docetaxel has been horrendous for me & with its pitiful response rate I think I need to kick it down the road.

I've been on anti-depressants for years & at top dose so there's nowhere to go there either.

I've literally had a call from the Phase 1 & Phase 2 trials team to go and see them next Tuesday. That'll be chemo postponed at the very least.

Thanks for the quick response Dani...

I hope they can find something for you. Maybe the addition of the therapeutic vaccine changes things? It’s soul destroying to fight like this. Thanks for having a look at the blog. I feel dreadful. I had an easy ride compared to you. 

It's not a competition to see who has the hardest time of it...

I'm sure there's plenty worse off that myself...

The therapeutic vaccine is trial only from what I can see ?

Hi Surfer 69

Sorry to hear your struggles. Can’t add anything to what Dani has already said just wanted to touch base. As for dragging yourself up for the next cycle it’s fight or flight instinct that kicks in. 

Hi Surfer Really sorry to hear of yours woes. You can and will  get through this and come out the other side. You are not alone on the tube either , they had 3 attempts to get the tube down which really helped from week 5 onwards. I would let them put it back in asap. I couldn't even take my pills for my heart , co coda mol was like trying to swallow a ping pong ball . probably a bad discription and I also got pneumonitis after my 4th chemo and had to stop altogether. Nothing can stop time so You just stick with it X . All the Best Minmax

So, minor update. Visited a trials team who were happy to put me on their phase 1 books. Problem is that they need gene & protein scanning, which is going to take 8-12 weeks.

Suffering from.a very swollen tongue & massive ulcer from docetaxel, which we've now discontinued.

Struggling to eat/drink , mostly on shakes & ensures etc, although no motivation to do either. Mucus is also a real problem & I always wake with the worry of drowning.

After having an uncomfortable Ng tube fitted, I assumed that a peg would be next on the list, but my tumor is too big for them to physically place the apparatus needed to locate the peg in place. Offered to go full on with the ensure etc eating plan, it was taking too much out of me, only to realise I was losing more weight.

Looks like this is my only future, along with a swollen tongue & hopefully a healed ulcer.

Feels like a very short tunnel, not sure how long I'll be able to keep this going.

I'll be giving it a good try though...

Yet again we didn't talk timescales, but without much said I'm assuming months & not years. Possibly weeks...

All this talk of positivity is hard to take in, when you feel so low.