Feeling depressed after treatment finished

Andrew1965 said:

Are these feelings normal after radiotherapy finishes?

Absolutely! You can give it a name like PTSD

This article has many insights in how we feel 

https://workingwithcancer.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/After-the-treatment-finishes-then-what.pdf

Thank you, I’ve read that and some of your blog.

Your taste buds not coming back appears in your 10 month update and that's where I’m struggling.  I won’t make it if my taste buds don’t at least start to come back by 10 months, this leveL of info was not given before treatment, if they’d said it probably won’t come back as it was, I would not have had the treatment and taken my chances.  I still don’t think I needed it and they said it was just to make sure any start cells were caught, but MAC grows very slowly, rarely metastasises and with yearly scans they surely could have caught it if it grew again.  Life without taste for me is not a life worth living so I guess only time will tell.  Sounds very ungrateful I know, but I feel I wasn’t fully informed before treatment started.

Try not to second guess the degree of recovery. My mouth and throat burned badly. Many people here are much happier with their taste buds by six months. Some people never lose taste at all or make a very swift recovery. I know it’s a laboured phrase but we are all different. Just hang in there 

Andrew,

There is no dispute that we find a new normal that is unique to each of us.  Sometimes it is very close to before treatment, sometimes it is so far away from what you knew before that you can't understand how you got there.  Most of the time it is somewhere in between.  I feel that the majority of people on here are in a good plane and have come to terms with the side effects that the treatment to extend our lives has given us.

In my case one of my sons is a Michelin award winning chef so I understand your issues with food and taste (and swallow) .  He adjusts menus to meet my needs.  Without doubt I am a foodie!   Almost any chef will do that for you if you talk to them. 

Your brain will adjust to the "loss of taste". I taste much of my food through smell now - we have always subconsciously done this, but my brain has adjusted to make this a priority for me.

I love my food.  I hope you too will learn to fall in love with food once again.  Give it time.  We are marathon runners rather than sprinters when it comes to recovery.

Dani is right about the PTSD.  If these feelings continue speak to someone about it. In the meantime we're here for you. 

Hi Andrew. I completely understand where you are coming from. I too went through a period of depression after finishing my second treatment for jaw cancer. It took a while for me to pick up but I am now back on top of things and enjoying life again. I spoke to my wonderful supportive surgeon and he was so encouraging. He recommended that I go to my  GP and talk about antidepressants and counseling. I found that him just acknowledging how I was feeling made me feel better. That I was not over dramatising and that it was a normal process to grieve what had been lost and the change to my life. I also found this forum so helpful. It takes time to adjust and things do improve but you have to give it time. I too lost my taste but over time it gradually returned although it is slightly different now. However I have now found new tastes that work really well for me. I am eating things that I would not before as different tastes work better for me. It is a frustrating time after radiotherapy with taste coming and going but it does eventually settle down. I still enjoy eating. I found that I had to take it on as a challenge and had to keep experimenting with food until something clicked.

Same as Peter I find the aroma of food really helps and reminds me of how the food tastes. I still enjoy dining out with friends and family but put a greater emphasis on the socialisation rather than the food. 

Unfortunately you are at the stage where you have to take it one day at a time. Things will change but you will have to give it time. Hold in there. 3 months down the track compare with how your taste is now and you should find a big difference. 

Sending you positive thoughts. Life does become good again.

Lyn