Hi all,
Thanks for all the helpful comments on my last post about my bad patch, especially re food. I spoke to my Macmillan nurse and to a dietician yesterday, and told them all the details of my current food aversion and I've got a referral to a clinical psychologist. This is great because I've been feeling it's too much to overcome by myself and I'm feeling more optimistic about getting past this.
When I was thinking about the reasons I'm like this, it all seemed to go back to the dietician I had in London. She was a lovely young woman with a job to do, and I liked her, but in the first few weeks of my treatment, when food tasted horrible and was difficult to eat, she was very forceful about me not losing weight because my mask wouldn't fit properly and my treatment would be affected. I felt under a lot of pressure and was force feeding myself food that I could hardly bear. I still remember going in to see her in about week 3/4 and after weighing me she slumped in her chair and said we'd have to resort to the Ensure drinks, as if I was a complete failure. I'm not normally pushed around, but I just wanted to do the best thing in order for my treatment to work, and I didn't realise that masks can be adjusted until a long time later.
Anyway those were the circumstances that led me to the horrible place I'm at now. So now I'm wondering should I write her a letter. Not a complaint, nothing angry, nothing official, just an explanation of the effect her approach has had on my mental health and how detrimental it's been in my recovery. I just want her to consider toning it down. After all, feedback is a useful tool for improvement and growth. Any thoughts?
