Hope needed

Oh Jane, I'm so sorry to hear your husband is having a rough time of it.  My cancer is of the tonsil and lymph node, so I really have no experience of your husbands type, but I'm sure someone will have been and will come along to support you (it is a very helpful and supportive group of people on here.  Has your husband been Googling survival rates?  I think we are all guilty of that, I know I was when I was first diagnosed.  It always comes up with the worst.  I would be more inclined to listen to his oncologist as they know his case better than the statisticians.  Sending you big virtual hugs.  Don't forget, you can always ring and speak to a Macmillan counsellor on the phone if you are feeling sad.  Take care. Hugs.

Hazel xx

Hi Jane

It is great that your oncologist said she was aiming for a cure. She wouldn't have said that if she had any doubts so you both need to hold onto that. Forget survival rates as we would all be in our graves by now if we listened to those. There are people on this forum who have had cancer of the larynx several years ago and are still going strong and hopefully they will be along to give you some reassurance.

Although my cancer is different to your husband's (jaw cancer) it is now 11 years since my first cancer and I am still going strong and enjoying my life.

It is only natural to go through some difficult emotions but over time things do improve. The more distance there is from your treatment the more you start to put it further to the back of your mind. Take it one day at a time. There is an article by Dr. Peter Harvey called 'After the Treatment Finishes - What Then?' It really helped me through some trying times. You can google it as I don't know how to do links, although I am sure someone will come along and be able to put the link in.

Sending you both positive thoughts.

Lyn

Thanks Hazel. I didn't think my husband has been googling survival rates but he must have! Thank you for your support x 

Thanks for your support Lyn. Although you have a different type of cancer it still gives me hope that you are still going strong and enjoying life. I will take a look at the article. 

I forgot to tell you that 35 years ago I had two Malignant Melanomas (which is one of the worst skin cancers you can get) and I am still here today!  My point is, that as I survived that and the treatments are so much better now than they were then, I am very optimistic that I will survive this one too!  Good luck to you both!

Hugs

Hazel x

Hi Jane, your husband is very early in his recovery, I remember after my treatment had finished, it seemed like the safety net had been pulled from under me, I then had similar thoughts. Yet here I am nearly 7 years post treatment, alive and kicking, which I intend to keep doing for some years to come. The treatment is brutal, but it does deliver high cure rates, I'm sure his consultant wouldn't say she was aiming for a cure, if she didn't think that was the case. He will have ups and downs during his recovery, most of us do, it's best to stay off google, it's mostly out of date at best. Stick with us, we are all here to help each other.

Ray. 

Hi ignore Google rates if yiu were to Google my cancer it comes uo with 48%. Cure rate. Well I believe my oncologist he said he was aiming to cure me and here I am over 6 years later living a fab life. At best Google med system are 5 years out if says in May cases they are totally wrong  believe the oncologist they do this daily. Tell him to stop thinking the what ifs live for the what now’s. I’m over in Spain happily riding my bike we have one life  so just live it is my advise. 

hugs Hazel xx

Hi Jane , i feel your pain as exactly what i am going through. My partner was so positive last year when he had surgery and 6 weeks worth of radio therapy. This week after seeing a consultant about teeth hes been down saying it could come back. Just wanted to say stick with these lovely people and read everything on here as it helps. Wishing you all the best to you and your hubby xxx

Hi Jane

T2M1N0 tonsil cancer HPV16+ finished Chemoradio June 2023....

Certainly is a tough time for for patients and carers, it's very easy to dwell on the negatives and hit low points, I thought that I would never see improvement in my condition after losing 16 kgs in 2-3 weeks and ending up in hospital for 12 days....but things did improve, slowly at first, little things to make each day a little more bearable, I started eating solid meals, got rid of the PEG tube, then things really picked up, started swimming again, playing a little golf, went to the Canaries with my wife, appetite and taste returned....not long back from Cyprus....still have a few little niggles but nearly everyone does.

I was diagnosed with colorectal cancer in 2017....had a triple heart bypass in 2002....hoping to be kicking around for a few years yet.

Take care and best of luck

Peter

Thank you - all the best to you and your hubby too xx