Sad

Please do, i am so pleased i did, it was my speech therapist who advised me to get help as she could see i was not my usual self. 

                                           Chris x

Hi Beepa

1. T2N1M0 Tonsil cancer HPV16 plus Chemoradio finished in early June 2023...also fought against bowel cancer and heart disease.

The treatment is very harsh but things do improve.  . slowly at first then gradually get quicker, last October I went to the Canaries for a couple of weeks, been away to the Sun 3 times this year.... eating and taste/appetite are now about 90%...Yes I did have plenty of low days but these lessened over time.... stay strong ... keep posting on here.

Peter 

Thanks Peter, I will 

Hi Beepa

I know exactly how you feel about not being able to make plans about Christmas. My first Christmas after treatment was exactly the same. In the past I was the one that put all the plans together and organised eveyrthing although my 3 daughters were very helpful with the arrangements. I just couldn't face it, I wasn't up to it emotionally and couldn't plan anything.  I let my daughters know how I was feeling and they immediately stepped up to the mark and organised everything between them. I was the guest which was lovely. I couldn't eat anything and had to take along my own food and sat back quietly for most of the day which was a first for me. Since then Christmas celebrations have changed and I do initiate the gathering but now we share the organisation, food etc so it has taken a load off my shoulders.

That first Christmas was hard as it heralded change for me. However I have found out that change can be good although hard to accept initially.

There were quite a few tears for me too initially but time does make a big difference. Take it one day at a time and things will gradually improve. Unfortunately you have to go through the difficult emotions first.

Sending hugs

Lyn

x

Hi Beepa

6 weeks is really early on in your recovery. 

You don't have the answers from your post treatment scans just yet so you have no positive confirmation that it has worked.  At this stage our minds can run riot with what ifs.

Fatigue from the treatment can hit us in many different ways. 

As has been suggested some counselling may help.  Otherwise be kind to yourself and tell others that you need time.  Each day will be different for you and quite different to how others who have not had treatment perceive how our lives should be.  Be honest with your loved ones that you need time but want to be with them and enjoy their company.

Many people think that just because our treatment has finished we are 100% back to normal.  We need to gently educate then as to how we feel and what we need from them.

At the moment, 8 months post treatment, I only want to think a week or 2 out from today.  It is OK to have a very close horizon.  In time things will improve.

Thanks Lyn. I appreciate your kind words. I'm going to get the counselling and put less pressure on myself to be the old 'normal' x

Thanks Peter. Yes the scan is hanging over me because they weren't sure that just chemoradiation would work in my case, so I'm worrying about surgery to remove my eye and whatever comes after that. It feels like it will never end. But as you say, it'll get better and I'll hold on to that x