Squamous cell carcinoma top right pallette

Thank you for sharing, I do feel like I am struggling mentally and emotionally. 
I am eating mostly soups, yoghurt's, decaf coffee and mash potato. 
I feel like I don’t recognise who I see in the mirror, and have managed to go out for a walk yesterday. I wore a hat and face mask to hide all the swelling and no hair on one side of my head and a scarf to cover the scars on my neck. 
I was under the impression that this is it now and no more swelling to go down as I reached week 4 yesterday. 
but you have said it’s very early days and I am now looking forward to more swelling going down. 
I feel very agitated when I wake up, I did also quit nicotine completely more than 72 hours before my surgery and now have been nicotine free for over a month. Can I be agitated from missing nicotine after all this time ? 
I am also staying with family to recover, and get better at the moment. 
i also have a strange taste and yellow phlem in my mouth when I wake up. I have been using salt water, should I try mouthwash ? 
I will probably start radiotherapy next week I think. 

Tomatoes12 said:

i also have a strange taste and yellow phlem in my mouth when I wake up. I have been using salt water, should I try mouthwash ? 
I will probably start radiotherapy next week I think. 

Try an antiseptic mouthwash? I use BioXtra which is a gentle mouthwash. I also used alcohol free chlorhexidine which takes care of any bugs and yeasts in your mouth. 
Have you had a mask fitting for the radiotherapy yet? 

Thanks will pick some up. 
I have not had any mask fitted yet, awaiting the results from surgery and further appointments. 

Hi Tomatoes12

It is only natural to struggle emotionally. It is a big change to your life and will take a while for you to adjust. I also struggled for a while and there were a few tears and feeling quite demoralized for a time. However my surgeon was great after I had a few tears during my follow up visit. He was so supportive and just talking to him made a big difference. He suggested that I go to my GP and ask about antidepressants. I did find that after time I adjusted to the situation so did not go down that path but I know there are many people on this forum who have benefited from taking a short course of antidepressants. You can also get in touch with a Macmillan nurse via this forum and get some counselling or just generally talk to someone about your concerns.

Giving up smoking is a hard thing to do and feeling agitated may very well be because of this. As well as a physical dependence there is an emotional dependence and that cannot be so quickly overcome. Continuing with some light exercise is a great idea as it often helps improve your mood as well as helping improve stamina after such a big op.

Has your dietician prescribed a dietary supplement such as Fortisip? It will make sure that you have all the vitamins etc that you need and will help you maintain your weight.

It is now just over a year since my last op and I too have been covering up with a mask when I go out as it has taken me a while to adjust to how my face looks at the moment. I have just started braving up and sometimes have gone out without a mask and it is funny but hardly anyone looks at me. When I said to one of my grandkids that I did not look very pretty at the moment he said Nanna I think you are pretty just the way you are. Gotta love them.  It does mean that it is inside that counts and not the way you look.

Give yourself time and you will get there.

Lyn

Hi Tomatoes , get blending is my advice you can make some serious shakes that will help put weight on and easy to consume. Dont ponder on the image that will change with time and is only temporary , My neck is still swollen and I had surgery on the 28th of november lol . Getting out walking everyday will do you the world of good and will help with your recovery big time , Trust me I know and does wonders for your mental heath . All the Best Minmax Audiobooks are good to listen to 

At 44 years old, I was living a fast paced life. Now I have to rest and relearn a new way of life , it has become difficult to grasp. 

Hi Tomatoes12

Don’t be too hard on yourself as it does take a while to get back on your feet but you will get there. It is definitely a marathon and not a sprint.

I remember feeling just like you at this point. I felt so useless after being so active with work, socializing, looking after a household and I wasn’t able to do any of it. It definitely gets better and eventually your energy does return and things start to look up. Bit by bit you start doing small things and then you do more and more but you definitely can’t rush it.

After my first op and radiotherapy when I was 59 I got back to work and to all the things I was doing before but it did take a while. It did make me appreciate life and having the energy to do the things I want to do and I have never taken it for granted since.

Hang in there.

Lyn

I have my oncology appointment tomorrow. 
managed to get hospital transport booked, I cannot drive yet, tried but too painful and restricted. 
will find out the results of the cancer from my partial pallete that was removed and lymph nodes. 
I have a sense of feeling better that something is happening, rather than being cooped up and unable to face the world. The appearance and not being able to speak, makes me want to stay indoors. 
hopefully after radiotherapy I can have my teeth in so that I can speak clearly and start living life for myself this time. 

Hi Tomatoes I know how you feel lol ,  Dont worry you will get there just a bit slower thats all , you can't rush nature .I need teeth also but being cancer free is more important at present. Then I have to get my heart 100%  

Hi Tomatoes My goodness you have been through the mill.Makes my cancer (tumor on parotid gland caused facial paralysis) seen like a walk in the park

I had 35 sessions of radiotherapy I managed to get to week 6 before having an NG tube.I lost my taste, no saliva and no appetite I am now 14months post treatment my taste is 95% returned, saliva is returning but feels like a mouthful of foam my appetite is greatly improved. My McMillan nurse put me on antidepressant I can now see light at the end of the tunnel I still have contact with Dietitian, Speech and Language and ENT regularly.  any worries i have between appointments I contact my McMillan nurse. Everyone comments that things will improve and they do, just takes time. I understand how you feel about appearance, I was very conscious of my facial paralysis but now it hardly bothers me.

Just accept that it is going to take a while and you will be fine.

Ivan