Morning people, not posted for a while, reconstruction surgery January 2025, surgeon happy with the results, on immunotherapy, and on sarong trial, and feel so ashamed to feel like this, I just find it hard to be positive, more so recently after having a full on week of various hospital appointments.
I just feel in in a dark hole, we've made no future plans, despite 3 month scan showing no abnormalities, husband I feel thinks its all done and dusted now, similar to when I had the mastectomy sept 23, I even asked him, are you glad I am still here, how sad that is, and that I feel that way. he wont talk to any one, read anything, I try to explain how I feel. close friend said you need to be on anti depressants, then if you are coping better, then he might, I just feel resentful that I have had counselling, am heavily scarred, put my body through hell and I should have to take more meds.
so basically has any one had to go down this route and did it help, sorry to out pour but I genuinely don't know what to do.
thank you all for reading
jules
I’m sorry you feel so low Jules. You deserve more after all you have been through. I do agree with CB that maybe a break with or without a friend might be a good idea 
Is there anyone in a position to have a quiet talk with your husband …. sometimes hard truths are better coming from those who are not so closely involved in the situation. I’m not the one struggling to cope with a cancer diagnosis but I have tried to be supportive and help my husband all the way ……. I have to read the room though and sometimes step back. I’m struggling too but I can’t let him know how worried I am about the future. The post op histology wasn’t good ….. no adjuvant FLOT but a scan in August.
Have a chat with your GP ….. maybe a course of antidepressants might help just to move through this difficult time. It’s a horribly emotional journey.
sending love 
Geraldine xx
