anti depressants - after surgery and treatment, any one had to go down this route

Hi Jules,

Sorry to hear that you feel like this. It really doesn’t sound like you’ve had the support from your husband that you needed and deserved the whole way through your treatment. From some of your posts, it sounds like he’s been worse than useless at times.  I can’t imagine how much harder it would all have been to get through the whole ordeal without my wife by my side the whole way through. Sounds like a wee holiday away with a friend or two might do you some good? Or even on your own? I understand your reluctance to start taking more medication (I remember those first few weeks out of hospital when one room in our house became like a dispensing pharmacy). I was so glad to slowly drop the medication. But if a short term course of antidepressants will help, then maybe worth a shot? I would try the holiday option first though. Best wishes, CB

I’m sorry you feel so low Jules. You deserve more after all you have been through. I do agree with CB that maybe a break with or without a friend might be a good idea  Is there anyone in a position to have a quiet talk with your husband …. sometimes hard truths are better coming from those who are not so closely involved in the situation. I’m not the one struggling to cope with a cancer diagnosis but I have tried to be supportive and help my husband all the way ……. I have to read the room though and sometimes step back. I’m struggling too but I can’t let him know how worried I am about the future. The post op histology wasn’t good ….. no adjuvant FLOT but a scan in August. 
Have a chat with your GP ….. maybe a course of antidepressants might help just to move through this difficult time. It’s a horribly emotional journey.

sending love

Geraldine xx

Hi Jules sorry to hear your struggling please don’t feel ashamed you have been through far more than most of us with getting over one cancer to be faced with another ! It’s hard to move on from such a experience and I know you are a fighter but there comes a time when maybe accepting a little help from some medication might get you through this and put your relationship in a better footing to be able to make plans and look forward to a holiday etc with husband or friends ! 
I hate to think of you struggling I know non of us have the body’s we had years ago I have more scars now I care to count but each one has a tale to tell and I’m not planning on ever wearing a bikini again !! Sending hugs Tricia xxx

I personally didn’t what to take that route, but there was time I fully understand why you would, bare in mind that I’ve not had to deal with half of the crap you have so don’t ever beat your self up for asking for help.

There can only be one way to know for sure if it’s the right choice and speaking to your doctor and Upper GI team they can only support your decision either way. 

Hi 

Sorry you feel like this but I think you have to be kinder to yourself and understand that after all the trauma you’ve gone through it’s totally understandable. You have no cause to feel guilty either as all this hasn’t been your fault .

Your husband doesn’t sound like he’s been very supportive but maybe he’s just trying to cope with it all in his own way? A life event such as this can put a real test on some relationships.

A chat with your GP may be beneficial to you .

I found our GP very helpful when my husband became overwhelmed with his own experience with cancer .He was given a low dose antidepressant and it really helped to take the edge off things .

Take care 

J 

I am so sorry you feel of all the feels, ashamed. 
You are an incredible fighter.
You need love, support & admiration. I’m so sorry you don’t feel that from your life partner, can you give it to yourself? Can you go on a mini health retreat and give yourself some TLC? 

thank you all so much, really means a lot to read your words of advice and support.  seeing my counsellor tomorrow afternoon, think she may get a shock when i offload, just off on my own to look at some beachwear, not measured myself yet, but a big step for me, at least it means like a lot of you have said, makes a spa break, more do-able, all my old cozzies have a habit of turning me into a flasher!!.  will speak to my gp tomorrow.  hate the feeling of i may have to turn to "happy pills", feel like i have failed, but will see what the gp said, when it was like this before, i did get some liquid, but all of the side effects and the thought of being in brain fog scared the hell out of me.  

and i definatley know he isnt coping, hasnt coped, have asked him to talk to some one, its not a failing, friends have offered a shoulder for him, but maybe he sees that as his failure.  i think being home alone isnt helping my mental state, as i used to be a social bunny.  but before i adventure out, need to sort my stomach out, not sure if its stress, some gluten contamination, new stomach, so back to the drawing board.  have left message for the nurses who helped me before as well.

i just dont want to burden the few close cancer friends i have, they too are going through there own issues with health, and other worries.  

thank you once again, everybody, you have all been there pre op and after, new passport sitting upstairs, so who knows.  

thank you so much, will keep you posted.  sarong ct scan on 2nd july, ironically its the date we had our first date 31 years ago, and my cancer brain is saying imagine if they find something on this date, how ironic, my other side is saying "shut up".

and breathe, cant wear my big girl pants currently as they fall down!!

love and hugs, and thank you, means a lot. xxx

Hi Jules quick question re CT scan how often are you having them on the sarong trial ? Hope all goes well I’m sure it will ! Good luck with the beach wear shopping xx

hi hun, didnt think i would get scans as a norm when on immunotherapy, so had the first one recently (3 monthly), a per asked for by the old oncologist, with sarong, i believe its 6 months since op, with questionaires to complete to.  feel a bit better now i know they can get a vein, thats worse than having the scan.

clothes trip done, what i bought will do for now, those big ass glass mirrors dont hide much atall!!