Mother-in-law (Mum's) diagnosis with oesophageal cancer last week

Morning beatriceh

Noticed you have had no replies as yet, so I'll give your question a 'bump' in case anyone who can help missed it.

You could also try posting this message into the Carers Group you joined to cover all the bases ?

Hope this helps, G n' J

Thanks, G n' J!

Hi beatriceh, 

Sorry to hear about your mother-in-law. 

I found the anxiety waiting for my biopsy results and then waiting for results of many tests including exploratory surgery tough to deal with. But once they have staged your mother-in-law's cancer and proposed a treatment plan you'll have lots of other things to occupy your thoughts. 

As for putting weight on, I also had lots of double cream, full fat coke, crisps, chocolate, etc. and I also joined a gym to get fitter for surgery. This is not an option at the moment due to COVID-19 but perhaps some exercise regime at home to build up your mother-in-law's torso?

Remember there are lots of us here who have been through this and are in remission. So don't be solely guided by what you read on the internet. 

There is light at the end of the tunnel!

Thank you so much for this kind reply. I really appreciate it. We have just had the staging - there is spread to the lymph nodes so we're not looking at curative treatment apparently - an operation is not being offered. We are sad and shocked but as you've said, it's better than waiting in some ways - now there are things we can focus on in terms of the treatment x

Hi Anon, just out of curiosity how long did you have to wait for biopsy results? I had an endoscopy and got the biopsy results about 40 minutes later. I was expecting to have to wait for a week or two so I went on my own. Kind regards Frank

Hi Frank,

I had my biopsy in March 2018. I remember it well. The room was dark, there were 3 people in the room and it all went very quiet. I remember the doctor requesting one of the nurses go and get some more biopsy samplers (as they ran out). I think he took 13 biopsies from me?

When the biopsy was finished the lights went on and the doctor sat me in front of a monitor and talked me through the photos he had taken. It was a 6 cm friable bleeding tumour. I asked him if it was malignant and he replied that he wouldn't know until the results of the biopsies came back, but in his experience he thought it was malignant. He was correct.

It took 2 weeks for me to be informed of the results. The longest 2 weeks of my life! We (my wife and I) decided we wouldn't let anyone know until we had the results of the biopsies. 

Strangely I felt relived knowing the biopsy results as we (well the doctors) could proceed with the diagnosis / staging. 

I was initially staged as T4N2M? until I had exploratory surgery (which I think is quite common?) and they found part of my tumour was resting on my diaphragm and my cancer had not spread to my diaphragm. I was then re-staged to T3N2M0 and offered a curative treatment plan that was successful. 

Hello, Beatriceh

I understand what you mean by the anxiety of waiting.  My husband, who‘s 72 like your mum n law had his scan before Christmas and got the results on Christmas Eve. We had to wait until after New Year for treatment to begin, and that was a very long time.  

When he started chemo, he became very ill and lost over a stone because of swallowing problems and diarrhoea.  He became dehydrated and had to be taken into hospital.  During that stay, he had a stent put in, which has made eating possible, although still difficult.  His weight and strength are now very much the focus of our lockdown existence.  

At first, he had loads of cream, and meals were as high fat and protein as I could make them.  But he’s gone off cream at the moment, so I have to find other ways of getting calories into him.  The main way is by devising extra meals.  He has 2 breakfasts every day, then something every hour or so - biscuits and tea morning, afternoon and evening, and a bowl of soup an hour before each main meal.  Puddings after every meal, of course.

His weight is up, but there are weeks, too, when it dips again if he’s not feeling well.  But on the whole he’s getting stronger.

I hope the prognosis for your mum-in-law is optimistic.  It’s a long and difficult battle!

Hi, I have just been diagnosed with stage 3 oesophageal cancer and need a 3rd scan to see if it's spread to my lungs. I have been told surgery is not an option and will probably be a mix of chemotherapy and radiotherapy, I am on liquids only as I can't swallow food. At the moment I am waiting for results every week and the anxiety is awful I just want to get started on treatment.

Hello Chris,

Thanks for your reply. Really sorry to hear about your husband's difficulties with chemo - it sounds brutal! Good for you for trying so hard to get him the nutrition he needs. My ma-in-law is finding a similar thing - that it's easiest just to have multiple smaller meals throughout the day - including puddings wherever possible! It's great that your husband is getting stronger, even if there are some worse days - I suppose there will always be ups and downs...

Ma is not being offered an operation, so at the moment the cancer is being considered treatable but not curable. Obviously this isn't the news we were hoping for, but at least there will be chemo and radiotherapy that they can try. I understand these are not exactly a walk in the park, though, so kind of dreading how she will do on them - even though she is fit and healthy. We are going to try to rent somewhere closer to her and Pa, so that we can help out if necessary - COVID doesn't help us see what to do for the best, as she will then be shielding because immunocompromised, so it's hard to know what practical things we can do. However, even waving through the window will hopefully boost her spirits if that's all we are allowed to do...

How long is your husband's chemo going to go on for? Will he also have radiotherapy?

Hi sj54, so sorry to hear this. My mother-in-law is in a similar boat - not operable but being offered chemo and radiotherapy, and also struggling a bit with her swallow. She also found the waiting for news the hardest part, as did we all - once there is a plan in place things seem to be getting easier because you know what you're up against. It's very hard to distract yourself from this kind of thing isn't it - but she just tried to keep her routine going as best she could and she said that helped with the anxiety a bit. Hope you're feeling better today.