Hello everyone, I hoping to try get some help and something to just put my mind at ease.
My mum has recently just been diagnosed with cervical cancer, and I had a feeling something bad was going to happen when she became unwell a few months ago. I’m really struggling to try process the news and really trying to stop my mind wondering with the worse possible outcomes as we are currently waiting out on her scans and then results to see where we are at with her diagnosis. I’m absolutely terrified. I’m also so angry as her GP did keep ignoring her and kept saying her pain was down to her hip issues and did no further testing. Not to mention a previous smear of hers came back with cancerous cells, and cervical cancer runs in the family. It was only until she started bleeding very severely and she’s post menopause, and going to hospital twice for her to be heard. Also her blood tests wasn’t followed through properly so I can only get angry that this could have been caught earlier had the GP made some actual time for her. I really don’t know how to deal with this whole situation but apart from over think her symptoms of her being constantly in pain and uncomfortable. She’s on loads of meds anyways morphine, liquid and patches also traumaset (excuse the spelling) and her pain not completely shifting.
I know my mum is terrified and so am I, I need help on advice on how to process this so I can be my absolute strongest for the hardest parts my mum has to go through. She’s my absolute world and it kills me knowing she’s scared and In pain. The unknown of everything is killing me too.
Hi again Bexx96
It’s so frightening for both you and your mum to hear she’s had a cancer diagnosis but please try not to spiral downwards if you can help it.
I appreciate you feel you’ve been let down by the gp. Post menopausal bleeding should always be investigated, and the gp should have investigated her hip pain further. I had both post menopausal bleeding and a lot of pelvic and hip pain, but my gp did investigate the bleeding promptly with a referral to gynaecology.
My hip pain was left un investigated at the time, but it turns out that was unconnected with my cancer and I was actually the start of osteoarthritis. Unfortunately that has resulted in my condition now being severe, but at least it was nothing to do with cancer!
I can read through your words the anxiety you are feeling, and the fact that you are so worried about where things are with your mum. Waiting for the results of scans and tests is one of the most difficult times, and it will be hard for you to see your mum in pain.
Once the results come through, your mum should have an appointment with her consultant to discuss them. The consultant should be able to let you know exactly where the cancer is, and what stage it is. This information is crucial to determine the right treatment. We have experience of various different treatments and surgeries within the group, so once you can tell us this, we’ll be able to share our own experiences. There are lots of success stories in the group, where ladies have come through and are living their lives again, so please try and focus on how successful treatment can be.
When you know what the treatment plan, it helps. You can focus on helping your mum go through whatever might be needed. I know I had a lot of pain before I was diagnosed and it was difficult to manage. However, it didn’t mean that my cancer was too advanced to be treated. In fact, despite the fact that I had a 3.7cm tumour, a scary amount of bleeding and all the pain, my cancer was actually stage 2b (stages of cancer are between 1 and 4) and although surgery wasn’t possible, I was able to have chemotherapy and radiotherapy.
The chemoradiation treatment was pretty intense, but was over a short period of time-7 weeks for me-and I recovered well from it with no lasting effects. Many of us in the group have been through this treatment-some have side effects and some sail through, but the main thing is we’ve got through it. My pain and bleeding stopped after 2 weeks of treatment.
Your mum will naturally be frightened, and being in pain wears you down. I’m sure she will be glad that you are there for her. Are you able to attend appointments with her? It helps to have another pair of ears for the results appointment especially. Think about questions you would like to ask and write them down to take to the appointment.
If anything the doctor says is not clear, or they use medical jargon, ask them to explain things simply, and slow down. I’ve done this myself and they don’t mind. Make sure you understand everything and know what’s going to happen.
Your mum should have been allocated a CNS (cancer nurse specialist) and you should have a phone number for them. Feel free to ring them with any questions or worries and if they can’t answer immediately, they will call back-they are a great source of help and advice.
You need to look after yourself too in order to be fit to help your mum. It’s important to get enough food and sleep to stay well yourself to be the best support you can be, and I can tell you will want to be there every step of the way.
For now, you need to sit tight and wait for the next appointment for more information. Try not to dwell on anger about the gp-you have time enough to make a complaint to the practice if you’d like to do that. Focus on your mum being as comfortable as possible-if there are signs of the pain becoming worse or the bleeding, then take action by calling the gp or the cancer nurse for advice.
You sound as if you’re being the best daughter you can be in very difficult circumstances so please know you are doing everything you can for your mum.
Post any time in the group-share your worries and concerns with us and we’ll be here to support you through as best we can.
Sarah xx
