Can't stop crying

Hi Katty04

So sorry to hear that you have been diagnosed with cervical cancer. I'm from the incurable cancer group,, I was diagnosed in 2015, and I was just scrolling around. I found that you hadn't had any replies but I'm a slow typist because I have little jerks in my fingers that cause a lot of errors so maybe someone will reply before me!. I think the jerks are coming from trapped spinal nerves, I have 2 protruding discs that cause me to be a wheelchair user. The spinal diagnosis was 3 months after my cancer diagnosis so I was totally in shock and I was feeling like you are now. I was 57 then and didn't think I would reach 60 but here I am at the age of 63½. I've seen the birth of a new granddaughter only 5 months ago. I have been having weekly treatment in the form of injections which is keeping me alive.

There is hope Katty, you have been told it's only 1st grade and they don't want to see you for 6 months so that shows they're not too worried about it which is a real bonus. It IS tough at the start because it's a shock. I had plans for my retirement and the plans have been upturned, my whole life is. I was referred for counselling by my wife and I saw a counsellor for around 6 months. At the start I could barely speak, I kept breaking down in tears but Katty, it became easier to speak after a while. Yes, my plans are in tatters but I'm still alive and I'm inching closer to retirement and possibly going to do something that was in my plans. I was self employed but because of the spinal stenosis and the cancer I'm unable to work because I'm in so much pain daily. I had to stop work, no longer able to do the job I had done for 35 years so that was a great wrench. I couldn't afford my pension fund payments that would have made a difference in my pension after another 9 years of payments but remember, I'm still alive and that is what matters. 

When the dust settles, you'll hopefully be told that yes you have cancer but perhaps it can be cured. I have my fingers crossed for you Katty, please try to look for a future with your children. I'm going to send you a friend request so I can keep in touch. The rules say you can't come to the incurable cancer group unless you have an incurable cancer so I can drop you a message now and again. 

Take care and stay safe Katty

Tvman x

Hello Katty04

I’m sorry to hear of your diagnosis, but as I’ve been through cervical cancer myself perhaps I can help. 

When the doctor did the biopsy and mentioned “first grade” I wonder if the biopsy had just just identified CIN, which is precancerous cells and goes in grades 1-3? That is the only possibly explanation for waiting 6 months. Any diagnosis of cervical cancer, no matter what, is NEVER left for 6 months. The smear test is not a diagnostic test for cervical cancer, but is to check for the HPV virus and any abnormal cells which it has caused.

The biopsy is a very small sample and may have only picked up these cells, while the cancer was in an area not biopsied. Unfortunately, this can happen. 

The MRI has now identified there is a tumour, and the PET scan will give different information to enable a full picture of what is going on before a treatment plan can be made. It is important first to identify where the tumour is located and the size, and then to check for any spread of the cancer as this will determine the treatment plan-surgery or chemotherapy and radiation. 

The cancer may well not have spread to the lymph nodes (mine did not)  but even if it has there will still be a treatment plan to deal with it if it has. Try not to think of the worst case scenario right now before you know anything more. 

Treatment for cervical cancer is tough but can be very effective, so try to keep that in mind. Please do come back to let us know how you get on-I have been through treatment and come out the other side, so if I can help you understand or give you any advice based on my own experience, I’m happy to do so. It’s good to speak to people who understand and have been through this. xx

Hi Tvman,

I think you may have misread Katty’s Post. She was initially told “first grade” after a biopsy, but this is not a term used in cervical cancer. No-one with a cervical cancer diagnosis would EVER be left for 6 months, even at stage 1, so I think there are been some confusion over the term “first grade” which is much more likely to refer to pre cancerous cells. However, now Katty does a definite diagnosis of cervical cancer, she will be seen and treated. Having been through this cancer, I hope I’ll be able to offer some help and advice as she navigates this. Treatment can be extremely effective with a high rate of success, so I’m hoping it will be useful for her to interact with another woman has been through this. 

Hello Tvman

Thank you very much for your reply and I'm sorry to hear about your difficulties. My life life yours has been turned upside down, and even though we are in different situations, we are the same strugling with this horrible and so unfair disease. And like you I'm trying to think positive, which is really hard, because I have children to live for. My youngest is 5, and my 12 yes old son lost his dad few months ago, so I can't let that happen, he loses me too! I'm 36 so I guess I deserve to live a bit longer, and that's what I'm counting for when it comes to treatment. 7 months back I had 1grade, medium changes, which as they said, not necessarily will evolve into cancerous cells and just requested follow up. And now on my MRI showing IIB... nevertheless I have hope.

Keep smiling, stay healthy and have the biggest hopes Tvman...all the best ️

Hello Sarah

Thank you so much for your reply and kind words  You are right, biopsy showed precancerous stage with medium changes, but now the MRI showing IIB I think. I'm so in pieces at the moment, as I can't believe how it could of happened??? I'm 36, have 3 kids( the youngest daughter is 5, and my 12 yrs old son lost his dad 3months ago), we have started our own business few months back and I had so many plans for the future. I have always been very careful with my health checks, did my smear test every year, as I already undergone a cervix treatment when I had 3rd precancerous grade. Would you mind me asking what stage is/ was you cervical cancer? And was it fully treated? How are you now? 

Hope you're staying healthy and safe,

Much love Katty️

Hi Katty

I’m so glad to hear from you! I also had stage 2b cervical cancer, which means a little spread but contained in the cervix and no lymph node involvement which is good! I had chemotherapy and radiation which was very successful, and I was NED ( no evidence of disease) at my scan 3 months after treatment ended. 

I’m so sorry to see your son recently lost his dad and that must make you even more scared and worried about everything. But please keep positive thoughts at the front of your mind that you will get through this. They are treating you to cure you-hold onto that thought every day. Always believe that the treatment will work. It is very effective! 

I was unlucky in that my cancer did recur, but I was successfully treated again for this and am now very well thank you. You can do this too! xx