I have had the all clear from oncologist, cancer all gone! Great news! Can carry on with life now, right? Of course! But . . .
Naturally i am still recovering from side effects, that's ok, i can cope with upset bowels and can tolerate having to dilate till next January!
I am eating better and taking more exercise.
i know how lucky i am to have come through it all pretty well regarding side effects, and of course being given the all clear!
But there are still days when i don't want to be positive and upbeat and act like everything is ok and back to normal, and i'm still not sleeping well.
Then i feel guilty that i'm not full of enthusiasm and energy and that i'm weepy and sitting around a lot.
Is this a normal phase? Or do i have to 'pull myself together'
Hi greenlady13
I’m not a big fan of the words “pull yourself together”! I believe it puts you under unnecessary pressure, and does not allow you to acknowledge how you feel.
I don’t think think we can be positive all the time-it’s just not possible, and we’re bound to have negative thoughts intrude sometimes. I think that’s ok-it’s just being realistic, but getting good results can give us some confidence moving forward.
I felt just the same as you did when I had my first post treatment results-not how I expected at all, and quite “flat”. Even though I was NED, which is how my consultants have always described things to me-no evidence of disease-as they’ve never said the words cancer free to me.
You’re still dealing with the after effects physically, so that does make things feel a bit more difficult too. It’s tough treatment, so give yourself time to recover fully and please try not to beat yourself up.
Sarah xx
