Hi ladies. In 17 months post treatment and have not had any intimacy for 2 years now. Anyone else struggling with this ? I feel like I’m now numb to any of these feelings 
Hi Simmie
I’m sorry to read you are struggling-I think the effects post treatment can be as much mental and physical, and it sounds as though you are maybe struggling in your head rather than physically from what you have said. I am assuming physically there would not be an issue, but please correct me if I’m wrong.
My situation is different in that “normal” sex is impossible for me as my total exenteration surgery meant I had to have my vagina removed, but I do understand how much your mental health is affected by going through cancer and treatment. Certainly I took a hit from not wanting intimacy after such extensive surgery but we have found ways to adapt to still be able to be close.
Have you considered having any counselling to help with your feelings and what you have been through? I called my CNS when I was struggling and she referred me for counselling which I found really helpful.
Being close to our partner is a huge part of most couples’ lives, so it’s important to try to deal with your feelings and try to move past where you are right now.I hope other ladies will come along to share their post treatment experiences, and you may also find it helpful to look at the Life After Cancer Group. Many of us struggle post treatment with various issues we often didn’t expect. This is the link-
I really hope you can find a way along with your partner to improve things.
Sarah xx
You are quite right to ask the question here Simmie and see if anyone can relate. I’m glad you are having counselling and hope that this will help in time. This is a hard treatment to go through and has a huge effect on our state of mental health-I think that can be something that is not always considered by our doctors.
I know my surgeon sounded astonished that I needed any help with my mental health. It was like…you’re better, we’ve done our job, now go on and live your life. I wish it were that easy!
Do you find it difficult to communicate with your partner and discuss your feelings-I mean on both sides? We had to have some frank conversations, as this is really difficult for both involved I think. I found it hard at times to understand my partner’s feelings in the months after surgery but talking helped us a lot. I’m just so very sorry to read how tough this is for you both and can only hope that it can get better for you as a couple.
Sarah xx
