Embarrassing

Hi Emmjw76 

There is no question here that’s too embarrassing, so don’t worry about that! Sometimes it can depend on just exactly where the tumour is located, as it can press on your bladder and make you need the loo more, so that may be why. Are you talking about going for a wee?

I used to go to the loo a lot when I was first diagnosed, and was up a couple of times in the night, but I was blaming my age and it had been happening a long time for me. But I was 56 when I was diagnosed, so I think my age and a weaker bladder maybe was the case for me as my tumour at that time was lower down. 

Toilet questions can occur a lot when you have cervical cancer as it can change your loo habits, and treatment can also affect bladder and bowels, so don’t worry about asking these things. Now I don’t have my bladder I do get to sleep without ever getting up in the night which I suppose is a bonus in this cold weather! 

Were you able to enjoy a good Christmas? 

Sarah xx

My Xmas was quiet as I wasn't not feeling great and didn't get to see my family on boxing day which I was abit sad about but they understood 

Finding it hard to go out and about incase I have an accident and need the toliet ASAP which is hard because I love going out with my husband 

Plus I have noticed that it is taking its toll on him and I honestly don't know what to do about that also 

Last question can I still be intimate with my husband even though I have got this going on ?? 

Christmas can be such a difficult time for so many people, when everything is supposed to be perfect and it often isn’t for a lot of us. It must have been difficult not to see your family though. I find that hard myself as my daughters are far away.

A cancer diagnosis has a ripple effect-it spreads out and affects your family and in particular your partner. He will likely be feeling scared for you, worried about the treatment to come and just generally frightened by the word cancer. He will maybe feel helpless that he can’t do anything about it or fix things. That’s does take a toll on everyone, 

Things became better for us as a couple once I had my treatment plan in place and things got started. We talked a lot and were honest, which also helped. It’s best to be honest about how you’re feeling about things and share your fears and worries I found, 

You can of course still be intimate with your husband if you want to. I had a lot of bleeding from my tumour which made that very difficult, and all I would suggest is to take things gently as it may hurt, depending on where the tumour is located. But it’s good to have that closeness, and no reason why you shouldn’t if you feel up to it. 

Sarah xx

Hi Jo

Long story short: I've had an awkard bladder, including urinary frequency and leakage, as a result of cancer treatment in 2017. 

I always wear an incontinence pad,  usually a light one providing I'm in a place where I'm sure I'll be able to access a loo easily.  If I'm not feeling confident then I wear a bigger pad so I don't have to stress about finding a loo in time. Moderrn technology means pads can absorb quite a bit yet not be too bulky. 

I hope the mention of incontinence pads isn't too abhorrent; initially I was appalled by the thought but really it's not a big deal  - judging by the number of products on the market there's a lot of need out there.

I also have a waterproof mattress cover on my bed; rarely need it but means I don't have to worry about soiling the bed.  There are some effective and breathable covers which are comfortable to sleep on.