Hi, my mum was first diagnosed in January 2026 with stage 4 cervical cancer. She immediately needed bilateral nephrostomoy bags and we were told she would potentially have 12 months to live without treatment. She had an 8cm tumour which had already affected her bowel and bladder. In March she underwent 7 weeks of radiotherapy & 3 x chemos. This finished in May. Two days ago I had to call an ambulance due to severe bleeding and clots... they did a CT scan which has shown a new tumour over 6cm big. She has an infection down there and we are not sure if poop is leaking through. Anyway, she disclosed to me that recently she has started struggling swallowing sometimes - so drinks sips of water between bites to help.
Is this common with cervical cancer? I read it could be due to the weight loss / muscle wastage? She now only weighs 5 and half stone.
I'm worried about her and about how long we have left together. She is in pain a lot and had recently refused to see any medical professionals until this happened. I think she was fed up of it all.
Thanks for reading this far! I'm feeling alone on this journey of witnessing the changes, caring for her and seeing how it affects her body. It is hard!
Hi Tina88 and welcome to our group.
I’m sad to read how difficult things are for your mum, and for you as her carer. It’s very hard to watch those we love suffer-I know I found it very tough with my own mum although I wasn’t actually her carer.
Your mum’s difficulty in swallowing is effectively something new, and so I’d urge you to try to speak to her doctors. I know you’ve said she refused to see medical professionals before this latest distressing event, but they can help. The fact that there is a new large tumour seen on the scan, her pain, and that poop might be leaking through are all signs that she needs that help.
Pain can be managed, which could make her more comfortable even if further treatment might not be possible. Things have moved very quickly since your mum was diagnosed in January this year, and this will be very difficult for you as her carer.
Do you have any support around you for yourself? Many people say caring can be harder than being the patient, and you have such a tough situation to try and manage. Have you got numbers you can call for help and advice from your mum’s team? Is she at home or in hospital? I remember going against my own mum’s wishes and phoning nurses for help when she didn’t want that. But I needed it, and for someone else who could take over from me. I got that help. This is a very scary time for you, and I understand what that feels like.
We have nurses available on the support line (number is in my signature) and they will I’m sure gently suggest that you can’t do this alone and need more help.
Please can you try and make some calls this morning? I know you will be doing your very best to care for your mum, but she needs to be assessed and for the doctors to see how they can help.
I’m very sad to read everything you’ve shared with us here-you are very brave to reach out, and I hope you can get the help you both need.
Sarah xx
