Treatment plan

Hi SammyJW

Thank you for posting as it definitely resonates.

I was told initially tumour was tiny and would just require lumpectomy, possibly radiation.

 After MRI they discovered 3 lumps total and the HER2 status of one of them was + so then mastectomy and chemotherapy on the cards. Lymph nodes showing clear but after surgery one found to be positive.

 I'm now post mastectomy and just finished chemo. Radiation planned in next few weeks.

 It's all been a bit of a rollercoaster and nightmare.

I cry everyday and sometimes feel very very bleak. However, I gain strength from posts like yours and others who determine to take one day at a time and stay positive.

 Having existing mental health issues doesn't help either!

 You shouldn't apologise at all as we are all at different stages. 

As you said, the surgeons, nurses and everyone else are marvellous. 

Hope you have a good day xx

Blessings to you,  I  have days where I feel hard done by, and I cry a lot and get emotional, there are days when I want a reason why and someone to blame.  I don't feel sexy, hate my scars (this sounds very shallow compared to your treatment) and yet I know through this transformative process I need to find peace about it all.  I know everyone will have feelings like this too.  I have listened to an audiobook which is obviously available as a real book called reconstruction by rosamund dean.  It is a great read, but won't fix what we are going through.  Stay strong, I write stuff down in a note book when life feels really crappy, again it doesn't change reality but can help get it out of your head, I try and find something great about each day and jot that down too.  I hope you can work through your issues and find some positives, in the meantime stay strong and focus on you and what you need to get there xx

Hi, thank you for writing. I could be wrong, but I think there are more people who feel like this than we imagine. Not just those who  have had breast cancer, but any cancer, and also those with other chronic and life threatening diagnoses too. It was my GP who warned me (about half way through pre- surgery chemo) that my original diagnosis could very likely change after surgery. I tried to ignore her comment, but gosh she was right. And three years down the line, I find out that this happens more frequently than we would like to think. I too get exhausted with it. I go from feeling grateful and appreciating tiny things on one day, to living in fear of recurrence or being diagnosed with something else on another day. 
i do wonder if wet, winter weather, and a lack of sunshine and warmth doesn’t help. It’s a basic thought, but if other people can be affected negatively by the season, then why wouldn’t we? And on top of everything else too. See if you can find something nice for yourself today. I’m about to feed my lovely garden birds, and then have a quiet cuppa. Xx

Thank you so much! And it most definitely doesn't sound shallow! I hate being bald! And yes hate the scars too x

Bless you SammyJW . 

l had a journey not dis similar to yours. Every appointment things got worse. My initial diagnosis was lobular Cancer no node involved and surgery followed by radiotherapy. To help me decide lumpectomy or SMX I had an MRI this showed dodgy node so another biopsy and positive. Decided SMX and possible node clearance. Had 10/14 nodes which then bought chemo into the mix! All other scans clear thankfully. After surgery had a large seroma which was drained several times and very uncomfortable. Eventually it got reabsorbed and chemo began. 5 months x6 chemo sessions. Then Letrozole meds began and before I started on biosophantes I had teeth checked and 4 back ones at top had to be removed as loose and heavily filled! More pain l. Had radiotherapy x 15 finished in June 22 exhausted then started meds for bones and the AI's have joint pain side effects! I feel like I have aged 10 years but on the positive I am still here and heading towards 2 years since treatment end. It is hard I won't lie but do able. Take care cry when you need and beat this

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I try and find something positive in every day, some days are harder than others.  It feels so nice (if I can say that) to find it's not just me feeling this way and I would like to thank you for your comments and wish you well on your journey xx

I to experienced a large seroma, and as clinic was closed over christmas put me in quite a depressive mood as I couldn't get it drained till clinic opened(I had it drained twice) then they said as it wasn't as big I would need to wait for it to absorb, it has now absorbed and some improvement in swelling now.  

Their going to give me 4 cycles of chemo taking my heart into account and selecting chemo drugs that are safer.  Still experiecing peri menopause symptoms which I know will probably get worse with all the other treatments still to do.  But I will take one day at a time as they say.  

Thankyou for sharing your experience, I wish you all the best on your continuing journey. xx