Surgery consultation, what to ask and why not an immediate reconstruction

I have just been diagnosed and I need a mastectomy. I have a 40g bust so you can imagine how I feel about having it removed. They can't reconstruct as the plastic surgeons are only doing essential surgery due to covid. The consultant said maybe I could have the other boob reduced to even things out a bit, but when ? mentally and physically I don't think I will cope. I have my next appointment on the 16th March and I am wondering the same as you. x

Hello

Thank you for your reply.

Ah, that makes sense re the reconstruction delay. So I guess I just have to put up with it. I have heard of others having their remaining boob reduced, but as you say, when will that be? My job (when i am able to return to it), is really physical (I'm a chef) so it's going to be extremely hot wearing the softie and I'm going to be paranoid about it moving around. More joyful things that come with having BC! Also, no idea how my 8 year old daughter will be with me after the op. She usually pops in when I'm in the bath for a chat. I don't really want to cause her more distress....

My consultation is before yours so we can compare advice. I do hope yours goes as well as possible. It is a lot to cope with isn't it, especially on top of everything else...

Yes, please stay in touch. I'm an older lady and have 2 grandchilden. my first thought was how my grandson,who is 8, will react to all of this. I am very well endowed and it will be impossible to disguise it.

Good luck with your consultation and please let me know how it goes.

big hugs x

If you get some mastectomy bras with pockets in the softie is not going to move around.  As to your daughter, tell her  you have a lump in your boob which is nasty and needs to be taken away.  Obviously, guage what you say to her age.  I have seen on other threads that children tend to take these things in their stride.  My granddaughter is 12 and  both I and her other grandmother have breast cancer so she understands.   Unfortunately, they don't recommend underwired bras for mastectomy as the wire can irritate the wound.  Some ladies have even crafted pockets to sew into their favourite bra and taken out the wire on the mx side.

Hi, I had a mastectomy last July. At the time, due to covid, they wouldn't offer reconstruction although they said it could be discussed in the future. I have decided I don't want to put myself through more surgery. 

After the operation I was given a mastectomy pocket bra and a softie. It works very well, although I found the softie wasn't heavy enough and the bra kept riding up so I was lopsided. I've put some beads into make it heavier and that's working well (when I take the bra off it rattles  but when I'm wearing it I don't notice any noise (I hope nobody else does ))

I had six weeks of radiotherapy ending in November and I have my first appointment to be measured for a prosthesis in 2 weeks.

Good luck x

Hi 

oh that’s a good idea about removing the wire on the MX side. And making a pocket, I love that. And reassuring that the mastectomy bras will keep the softie in place, at work the last thing I want happening is for it to fall out in a kitchen full of men! 
I suspect you’re right about my daughter too. I just don’t want to freak her out, it’s hard to know the right thing to do, but honesty is often best....

So appreciate your taking the time to respond. I hope you are keeping well and managing to cope with your diagnosis x 

Hi 

I hadn’t thought about the lightness of the softie-beads are a great idea too, that’s clever

I wonder how it feels with a proper prosthesis? My partner isn’t coping very well with the thought of the surgery and me missing a boob. I know it’s my body but it does affect them too. Oh I’m overthinking it! 
How was the radiotherapy? 
I hope you’re doing well now and managing to get on with things as much as possible. I very much appreciate your taking the time to reply too, thanks x 

Yes let’s definitely stay in touch. It’s so good having folk on here to share the ups and downs with. I find it so helpful. 
Hope everything else with you is going as well as it possibly can. 
x 

Hi, I sympathise with your consideration for your partner. When I told my husband I had an appt about getting a false boon I think he thought I meant reconstruction and when he realised I meant a prhesis I thought he seemed a bit disappointed

Radiotherapy was fine, the worst bit was parking

Seriously, it was a bit inconvenient but you just lie there and hold your breath when they tell you to. It takes about 10 minutes. There was music playing and everyone was lovely.

One thing you may want to mention to your surgeon is will they use a drain after surgery? My surgeon did, and I hated it for the 5 days I had it, but I know someone who didn't have a drain and she suffered a lot with swelling after her op. I imagine there are pros and cons but it may be something worth asking.