Hello

Hi Scottie79 and welcome to the forum. Sorry you find yourself here, the cancer club is one we’d never choose to join! But this site is a great place for support and shared experiences. It must be as I’ve been rattling around it for over 7 years! 

Yes your feelings are very common I think. I have definitely found many stages of my cancer experience overwhelming. And I think it’s very often when the ‘active’ treatment finishes (like you my active treatment was surgery and radiotherapy), and we then have to contemplate years on hormone therapy. I was older and very definitely post menopausal so I had Anastrozole. I was very grateful to escape chemo and am still very grateful to be ‘well’ but I’d so much rather not have got cancer in the first place. None of the treatments are ‘easy’ , nor is the experience of being diagnosed with a life changing condition. But….. I’m still here and living a good life! 

There’s an article which is well worth a read: After the Treatment Finishes by Dr Peter Harvey (not sure if the title is correct but hopefully near enough). I can’t post links but if you do a search it should come up. 

I’ve also found it really helpful being in touch with others who’ve had cancer. Is there a Maggie’s centre near you? Future Dreams in London is a wonderful place , for anyone affected by breast cancer. I have been there for a few sessions as it’s about an hour away but they do online stuff too if you’re far away. 
Sending love and a big virtual hug, sorry for the long ramble!! HFxx

Hello Vikki,

I’ve had surgery and radiotherapy, having been diagnosed in August last year.  My cancer was hormone positive and grade three.   I am however, almost old enough to be your mum, (but not quite!), so I was past the menopause when diagnosed.  You say most reviews re tamoxifen seem pretty miserable.  I can’t comment on that particular drug, but you might like to read my post on Letrozole and Ribociclib, which shows that you can tolerate these medications, and to just give it a go.  Until you try, you won’t know.  If the side effects become too much to tolerate, you can at least say you gave it a good go, and not beat yourself up over it.  I feel strongly that, quality of life now, is more important than worrying about what might happen in the future.

Chin up, you can do this, I’m sure you will find the resources within you to cope with whatever lies ahead.  I think you’ll find you might be stronger than you previously thought, but as HappyFeet1 says, do try to find a support group, the camaraderie can make all the difference to how you cope/feel on any given day.

Pollyanna x

Hi Vikki ( Scottie79 )

Sorry you have to be here, but welcome!

Have you started tamoxifen yet? I remember before I started I’d read so many things about it being horrible that I felt for sure it would be, but that isn’t always the case. Many people, myself included, take tamoxifen with no issues at all. Apart from actually taking the tablet each day I wouldn’t know I was on any medication. I’ve been taking it for two years and now 48. x

Thank you so much Happy Feet for taking the trouble to reply and done very helpful advice. Yes I have a Maggies in Southampton and they are wonderful. xx 

Dear Pollyanna, 

Your response was so kind and helpful, thank you so much for taking the trouble. 
i completely agree with you regards to quality of life but i certainly will give tamoxifen a go. 
I think for me its the phycology in the fact that it’s for such a long duration and therefore being treated for cancer for a long time, surgery and radiotherapy I could see an end in sight!
then I feel guilty as I’m really grateful for the care and treatment that I’ve been given that’s ultimately saved my life. xx 

Oh Eebee, 

Thank you so very much for your reply, the first positive person I’ve found on taking tamoxifen. 
My rational self knows that people often post the bad and not the good but I’m frightened by the longevity of treatment, but the battle with feeling guilty to be worrying over such things when I’m aware I’m very lucky. 
I’ve not started tamoxifen yet as my oncologist said to wait until radiotherapy symptoms had eased such as fatigue. 

Thank you again off you time and trouble and kindness to reply xx 

Evening Vikki,

Thanks for your kind response.  

I too, grappled with the length of treatment time.  For me, it’s three years on Ribociclib and Zoledronic Acid Infusions (6 monthly), and five years on Letrozole.

Try to reframe how you approach this, if you can.  There are very many health conditions that you might have been diagnosed with, which would require life long medication, and could be just as life threatening as cancer, (think heart disease), so not just over a five year period.  Every month on medication is a month ‘under the belt’ so to speak, and eventually, you’ll find you’ve passed the half way mark and it’s then a countdown to the finish line.  

Obviously, I’m not sure what your exact position is, but it sounds like you’re not being treated for active cancer at this point, and your oncologist is giving you medication to help prevent recurrence.  

My advice is, that if it all gets too much in terms of side effects, chat with your oncologist about giving Tamoxifen up, he can use Predict, if he hasn’t already done so, (you can too, if you’ve been given all the relevant information), and see what the difference is between taking it or not.  I used it to help me make my decision that I didn’t want chemotherapy, (a possible additional 5% cure rate in 10 years time), but who knows, that decision may come back to bite me in years to come.  If so, I’ll deal with it then.

With all best wishes,

Pollyanna x

This is exactly the reason why I still float around in forums such as this one! I am always very mindful that I have been fortunate and sensitive to the fact others have had a much tougher time, but I think it’s important to share positive experiences too. 

I just wanted to add a couple of things. Firstly, I do understand the fear of it being such a long term medication. I was really worried when my brand changed first time as I hadn’t been having side effects and read about this sometimes affecting people. I wondered if maybe my luck would run out and I would start to feel bad, but I didn’t notice any difference and now have had maybe 5 or 6 different ones and they’ve all been the same. Secondly, and in my view most importantly, I am convinced the reason I don’t have any issues is because of the level of exercise I do. I genuinely believe it is the best thing you can do after cancer and is one of the things proven to reduce the risk of recurrence. So, if you can, move your body as much as possible! 

Best of luck with everything. x