Newly diagnosed

Hi Hariet7,

I'm so sorry to hear all this. I can relate to your story. I also lost my daughter to cancer 12 years ago.

When I got my diagnosis May this year, I just went into a blind panic of anxiety and fear. It took me straight back to my daughters journey.

My consultant and BC nurse reminded me that this was my journey and 12 years down the line with treatment options.

It took me a while for my anxiety to lessen, and my youngest daughter also tried to be positive. However, I know her experience of her sisters cancer was a lot for her to now deal with me. 

My BC was grade 3 so I required a lumpectomy, chemo and have just finished radiotherapy today. I am now on hormone suppressants and awaiting bone infusions. I am in a better place mentally and can see a future ahead now.

Be kind to yourself. There are lots of treatment options out there. I wish you well in your recovery. Xx

Hi Missymolly, thank you so much for your reply, it has helped me a lot as I know you understand ! As you say the reminders of our daughter’s journeys are hard to deal with and so upsetting! I also worry about my youngest. Being told that it is a separate journey doesn’t stop the hurtful memories does it. I wish you well and so happy to hear you’re in a better place after all you have been through. Xxx

Hi Harriet7,

Please be kind to yourself. Keep us updated on your journey. Wishing you good luck xx

Hi Harriet7,

I am sorry to read about you are going through and really sorry to learn about your daughter. I had a lumpectomy some months ago and lymph nodes removed, I  finished my radiotherapy recently and have now been told I am clear. It is a shock when you are told and it is important you take a bit of time to let it register and sink in. Iknow mine is slightly different to mine, but the strides made in modern cancer medicine these days is amazing and they can do so much for you. However, there is so much you can do for yourself too.

Your anxiety is perfectly understandable, but you have made the first big step by finding the Macmillan site, also do visit your nearest Macmillan centre, a list is on here, or ring them on 0808 808 0000, they are superbly helpful and give you lots of great info, do walks, talks, help with benefits, bills, open 10-4 Mon-Fri for coffee and chat and lots more. It maybe beneficial for your daughter to go too, as they can talk to her and in complete confidence if you wish. Please also get a good support structure in place, family, friends, good work colleagues, I’ve lived on my own for nigh on forty years, but realised you can’t do this on your own. I also go for a short walk every day (British weather permitting) and do a daily diary, this is mega helpful, as it gets everything off your chest and out of your system. It is important during the day to keep yourself occupied, hobbies, interests etc., it stops you from dwelling on what is going on. You may also find it beneficial to listen to a meditation podcast, they really help you to relax especially when you are trying to get to sleep. I use one called ‘Go Gently’ by Christine Elizabeth Smith, it does a lot for me. Whatever you do, do not visit Dr Google as there is so much conflicting information, your head will spin and it will stress you out, listen to your medical team and ask your breast cancer nurse as many questions as you want. Also, you get great support on here.

I know it’s hard sometimes, but try and keep as positive as you possibly can, have positive people around you and dump the negativity, above all, be kind to yourself - I promise you, you will get through this. You are NEVER alone and can always come and chat to us shower in here.

Keeping fingers and everything crossed for you.

Take care and big hugs.xxx

Hi Boobybabe2 

Thank you so much for your kind words and advice. I will definitely take on board your ideas, I have a lot of hobbies, like yourself I live on my own I just haven’t been able to pick up any of my prects since all this happened! I’ll start a diary as I did so after I lost my daughter and yes it did help. I am going into work for half a day today so some sort of normality .

I'm happy to hear your news and very much appreciate you taking time to speak to me. 
take care xxx

Hello again,

So I had my lumpectomy results today, the margins weren’t clear so more surgery booked in two weeks time. Then a three week wait for the results. The waiting is exhausting. I did two days at work last week, I’m on half term this week and have been advised not to work the week before my surgery. I have so much confidence in my care team but I’m so tired and can’t really afford not to work. Trying to be positive but it’s hard.

Hi Harriet7,

It is exhausting and so stressful the waits. I understand where your coming from. But they need a clear picture and full diagnosis so you get the right treatment. Cancer doesn't spread that quickly.

I assume they want you to stay away from work as kids carry lots of bugs and you don't want anything to delay surgery.

Is there not some work you can do at home that might keep you working and earning but free from kids bugs especially this time of year.

I'm now waiting to see the consultant on Thursday for results of CT scan, now chemo and radiotherapy finished and although I know the aches and discomfort are probably a result of the radiotherapy I've had nightmares this week and head can go to a dark place. It's difficult to remain positive all the time especially with the unknown. 

I wish you well. Take care and keep us updated. Use this forum for support and as a sounding board. Xx

Hi Harriet7

Sorry to hear that your margins weren't clear and that you need a second operation.  

Wishing you the best of luck with it.

Best wishes

Daisy53