Anxiously awaiting biopsy results.

Hi Ruthy

The waiting is definitely hard. It's so easy for your mind to run, and the temptation to go 'Googling' is strong. I had a colonoscopy and was diagnosed with cancer straight away, so didn't have the 'is it/ isn't wait' as such. But I had a two month wait before treatment began, and that was tough.

When I told my boss (an online content expert) about my diagnosis, his immediate advice was 'Don't Google anything. The top results will tend to be the scariest, because that's what sells.' So I didn't and I'm glad for it.

My second tactic was to make a determined effort to focus on the present moment and the day ahead of me. This was to stop my mind running and creating unnecessary, unhelpful worry. I used meditation - often first thing in the morning - to calm and energise myself. My partner offered to do the communication with the hospital, which also stopped my anxiety peaking - because I just get nervous with anything hospital related! And I distracted myself as much as possible - to avoid quiet moments when my mind would run. Reading, TV, etc.

Your reaction is completely normal - but you have the medical teams on your side now. They know what they are doing, and in my experience, have been incredible. If you can put your faith in them, that will bring some peace of mind too.

You're not alone and I wish you the very best. Stay positive - it really helps. 

Hi RuthyNorthEast,

I had exactly the same as you,  a lumpectomy just over a month ago and two lymph nodes removed. I also had three biopsies and a boob with more colours on it then Benetton. It is a shock when you are told and it is important you take a bit of time to let it register and sink in and I know the waiting is the worse, but there are things you can do.

You have made the first big step by finding the Macmillan site, also do visit your nearest Macmillan centre, a list is on here, or ring them on 0808 808 0000, they are superbly helpful and give you lots of great info, do walks, talks and lots more. Please also get a good support structure in place, family, friends, good work colleagues, I’ve lived on my own for nigh on forty years, but realised you can’t do this on your own. I also go for a short walk every day (British weather permitting) and do a daily diary, this is mega helpful, as it gets everything off your chest and out of your system. You must do things to keep you occupied and most importantly, be kind to yourself, I promise you, you will get through this. I listen to a meditation podcast when I feel a little anxious, especially when I’m trying to sleep. I use one called ‘Go Gently’ by Christine Elizabeth Smith, it works great for me.

I know it’s hard sometimes, but try and keep as positive as possible can, have positive people around you and dump the negativity. You are not alone and can always come and chat to us shower in here.

Take care and big hugs.xx