Hello

Hi, I just joined today (about 10 minutes ago).  I know how it feels - I had tears today. My mood goes up and down. I had a lumpectomy, had 2 operations and 2 weeks of radiotherapy. There was a small cluster in one of my lymph nodes. I know mine was removed during the operations and I am so grateful but I often feel the same way as you. 

Hi HelenPP, 

Like you I had a lumpectomy two weeks ago and also two lymph nodes removed. I was originally told it was caught early and not spread to lymph nodes, go back to the Hospital next week for results of the op. I have lived on my own for nigh on forty years and am very independent, so decided to put things in place before my surgery. 

Firstly, you have taken a big step by coming on here, also please find your nearest Macmillan centre, they are amazing people and you can go between Monday - Friday between 10 - 4, just walk in for tea and chat. The list of centres is on this site.  I have also wrote a daily dairy, this is mega helpful as you just write down about your day and how you feel - even if you just write ‘having a crap day’ it’s out of your system.  You must also have a good support structure in place, family, friends, good work colleagues, you cannot do this alone I realised that quickly. It is important to surround yourself with positive people, dump the negativity, you don’t need it. 

There is no shame in having a good cry now and then, in fact it’s another good way of getting stuff out of you. We all do it, me included and it’s okay to be angry and upset. Try and find things to do. Macmillan do walks, craft days, talks and lots more. I take an half hour/hour walk each day to get some fresh air and sunshine (when we get it lol).

The important thing is you are not alone and there are people who can help. If you need to chat, come here anytime and feel free to blubber away, we’re not a bad shower . Take care and big hugs.x

thank you.  i really appreciate your reply. xx  I have been onto the macmillan phone line to try and find some local groups. x

Hello there, i'm sorry you feel like me !  it's not much fun is it ;)  

you're right, sometimes i feel ok and relaxed other days, quite a few days, i wake up and start crying straight away.  

Maybe its just the trauma of everything catching up.  It all seems to happen so fast (which is brilliant) but difficult to process.  

xx

how are you feeling today?  i'm waiting for radiotherapy and don't know what/how long the treatment will be.  How did you get on with yours?

I don't think some people realise how emotionally fragile cancer makes you.  It is a massive thing to be told you have it.  and although i look the same, i'm not the same, i certainly don't feel it. x

maybe we're in shock still?  today, no crying but i feel so weak - like recovering from flu and the tears are ready to flow at the drop of a hat.  

Been for a walk in the sun (hallelujah) and touched 32 trees !  my positive vibes thingy 

Hi,

I'm not emotional today (well not so far!). I am tired - I am still affected by tiredness. Every day is different. I'm not the same person I was - I feel I dont look the same and I dont feel the same.

Hearing the word cancer is very hard to describe. I felt numb, felt like I was on the outside looking in. I was on autopilot for so long. I am grateful for the speed at which my treatment plan was put in place after diagnosis - it was so fast that I didn't have time to think. My radiotherapy started about 3 weeks after I had my 2nd radiotherapy planning appointment. 

I found radiotherapy very tiring and had the shoulder pain. Travelling an hour to the hospital and then an hour home again added to the tiredness.  I would get home and go to bed for 3 hours. I was emotional on my first day - I sat there thinking 'I'm about to get radiotherapy for treatment for breast cancer'. I was emotional at the start of the second week aswell and very emotional on the last day of treatment.

We have rain today and it's a bit cooler so I'm relaxing with my feet up, the heating is on - I've a big mug of tea and I'm going to watch some TV! It's just one of those days for relaxing!