New here

Hi Armaghgirl25

Welcome to the forum and I am sorry to hear that you have been diagnosed with breast cancer. What you are feeling is perfectly normal. Once you have your treatment plan in place things should improve.

Wishing you the best of luck with whatever comes next for you.

Best wishes

Daisy53

Thank you. I’ve been trying to be positive up until now but today has felt like such a struggle for some reason. 

Dear Armagh25, I am so sorry that you have found yourself in our 'club' but  I have never known such a wonderfully supportive and helpful group, it has helped me enormously.

We are all different, I know, but when I found out imine was grade 3, invasive, 3 cms I think I was stunned. It was really weird, I felt unreal somehow. Luckily my children were already grown up and lmost had eft home, but still I didnt tell the ones who had left home. or my friends.

But somehow, once I was on a treatmenf plan that all changed. It was hormone sensitive, so I was put on Letrozole straightaway and would be checked every three months while it was decided whether surgery was best option as I have heart problems. 

Anyway....the Letrozole worked amazingly well, had shrunk it to 1.9cms by 3 months, and now, only .8 cms. So I wont even need surgery.now hopefully.  And I do feel myself again.

And hopefully yours too will respond to hormone treatmrnt, and you  may not need major surgery .

( I had already started writing lists of things to do while I was still capable, getting rid of clutter, etc.) 

But now  I'm planning a holiday b4 the schools break up in July.which was totally out-of-the question until  this 3nd ultrasound. 

With lots of love and a warm hug, from Silverspiral

Hi, thank you. I’m so happy to hear your treatment is working. I was told on Wednesday I will need a right side mastectomy and because there is also something suspect in my left breast which isn’t being biopsied until the 17th April, I may need to have both removed. I’ve been offered a reconstruction but need to think about that. It’s so hard to make a decision when I don’t yet know if it’s in both breasts and don’t have a date for surgery yet. I’ve been told depending on the results after the operation, I will likely be on Tamoxafen for 5 years.  I’m dreading telling my children. That’s what is cutting me up the most at the moment especially as my youngest has bad anxiety and very attached to me. I’m going to put off telling them until I know the results of my next biopsy so it’s very hard trying to hold it together so they don’t pick up on something being wrong. Sorry, I feel like I’m rambling now, there’s just so much going on in my head today, it’s like it’s suddenly hit me that this is actually real. 

Sending you lots of love and I hope you continue to do well. A holiday to look forward to sounds nice.x

Hiya, really sorry you find yourself here. My daughter was 4 on my first diagnosis and 12 on my second, click on my name and you’ll see my story. It’s really hard watching your kids having fun and wondering how they’ll cope when they know, the thought of it used to really cause me anxiety. The reality was being honest with my daughter (hugely anxious and traumatised after her father and I separated previously) helped her the most. People say well intentioned but stupid things so she appreciated knowing the genuine facts from me. Ultimately it’s brought us closer and now she’s 14 and she’s always said the honesty was the best thing. When you know your treatment plan, tell them. And yes it’s normal to feel this way. Still dreadful and heart wrenching but sadly normal. You will still have good memories to come, even in the darkest of moments there will be fun and lightness. It really is a funny old life. One step at a time, lots of love and good luck x

Hi Anna12345, 

Thank you for your response, I hope you are doing ok? That’s really good to hear about your daughter’s opinion on you being open and honest, I think I will be honest with them once I know what’s happening as if they see I’m ok and coping, they will too. I hate that I’m lying to them at the moment as we are a very close family and open about everything. I think my older daughter will cope better as she will ask questions and understand more. I just worry so much about how my youngest will take the news as she’s SEN and has huge attachment to me. Sending love to you too.x

Thank you, yes I’m good now, treatment finished other than the ibandronic acid. My daughter maintains that knowing I had told her the truth helped her, they over hear things, friends at school tell them stories about family members, etc, if they know you’re being honest, despite their worries, they can trust you, that was vital for us. Definitely wait until you have a treatment plan, then be age appropriate but frank. I’m a single parent although her dad is around and present, I say, this is going to be tough, I’ll loose my hair, I’ll get ill somedays but it will be ok eventually so far as I’ve been told. If that ever changes, you’ll be the first to know. That really helped her because someone at school said to her your mum might die because my aunt did, she was 12! She said, I’m really sorry about your aunt but my mum will be ok or she’d tell me, she knew she had as much info as me and it kept her grounded in it all. I don’t know what SEN your daughter has but I work with SEN children in school, my daughter has SPD, I think facts and simplicity are important for them x

Thank you for this. I will definitely be more honest about things. She has multiple learning difficulties and severe anxiety but I think honesty will be the best policy when we tell them as like you say, they will hear things that won’t apply to our situation. As things stand I won’t need chemo but from reading through the site, I know sometimes things change so I won’t make any promises. I think having the mastectomy will be the biggest shock for them but I just need to try and find a way of them seeing I’m ok with it and it’s a good thing as it’s taking the cancer out of my body. X

I think that sounds like the perfect way to handle it. Remember no matter what anyone says, you know your kids best xx