Diagnosed today…

Go with your gut.  When I was diagnosed I told immediate family and friends and also work bosses.i couldn't get my head around it so never told anyone else at work until about 4 weeks later.  I went in for a welfare check and the Chinese whispers were ten fold.  One said oh and to think you were told it was benign I went no it was always been cancer. They then continued to say how it must have been a shock from it being benign to cancer.  I had to further explain that I always had cancer but it had went in my lymph nodes which previously I had been told it wasn't.  Just a wee think as folk will believe what they want and still tell you you are wrong. 

Everyone else has been so supportive mind you.  I feel i do not have the strength to go back to.work just yet.

I’ve been open about my diagnosis and treatment at work however I work for the NHS as a nurse practitioner so it seemed natural. I tried to go to work after my diagnosis but only lasted halfway into the second day cos it was too much and I couldn’t deal with my patients properly! 

Go with your gut is good advice, it’s a tough journey ahead with one thing and another. Be kind to yourself x

I am with you. I feel the same and very torn about what to do. If you are having chemo it will be more obvious but I still am of the view that I don’t want my diagnosis talked about. I have decided to just limit the info for now and see how I go. But I wonder does that make it harder for me down the line. 
I would love to also hear more stories as to how people have coped. 

Hello Jen.

I am sorry that you have been diagnosed BC, it is good to read though that you have a plan already, the waiting is the most difficult part.

Regarding work colleagues I have a very good experience. I thought I was going to attend my very early screening appointment and be back to work with a 'there nothing to worry about' but I ended up with two biopsies and a lovely nurse hugging me. I had my corporate phone with me and my boss phoned for work related issue and I ended up telling them the situation.

My colleagues have been all very kind to me during all treatment, I decided to continue working from home to have my mind busy and they have been amending my mistakes It is impressive how many mistakes I was doing. I also allowed myself to not be at my best and being OK with it.

Unfortunately most people of certain age have experience C in a close relative, friend, neighbour, colleague, that seems to make us very understanding to others, empaty is powerful. Also one decides how much is Ok to share.

I wish you all the best in the treatment that you are starting and know that we are here to be of company and support.

xx

Hi JenE24 , great replies already and it’s definitely an individual decision re who to tell and how much. I felt I had to say very little and play it right down at the start, because of family circumstances. My daughter was abroad and not reliably contactable (in the middle of a jungle!) so I couldn’t risk her somehow hearing through social media, before I’d spoken to her once she was reachable by phone. So all I said initially was that I was having a lump removed, as I had done before several years ago (that lump was benign). Once I’d told both my kids that it was cancer, I pretty much told everybody everything. It was a huge relief. I wasn’t looking for sympathy and emphasised all the positives about my diagnosis but just wanted work and friends to know stuff from me and not through whispered conversations. Having initially thought I’d be off work for 2 weeks after my op, in the end I didn’t go back for 4 months, which took me to 4 weeks after radiotherapy. I was nowhere near ready to go back before then. I was a special needs teacher and my work was very physically (and mentally) challenging. 
Everyone reacts differently and some folk are more private, I just know that for me the  whole thing was so much easier to handle, once people knew what was going on. I’m still very open about the fact that I’ve had cancer, I don’t want it ever to be the ‘elephant in the room’. Hope you can find the best way for you to tackle this. Love and hugs, HFxx

Hi, 

I can totally empathise with you on feeling more positive once the diagnosis was in. I had my surgery yesterday and am now waiting nervously for my histology results when i see my consultant on the 11th April.

My experiance on telling peopk at work goes as follows-

I'm not usually a sharer when it comes to my personal life so when I was recently diagnosed i was very torn as to who to tell at work. I work in a primary school with a large, mainly female staff. I obviously had to tell the management team from the start due to needing time off. I then, once i had my diagnosis, told my closest work friends, thinking i would stop at that. But then having thought about it I decided to just put it out there to everyone. This to me seemed a better option than having people speculate as to why I was not in- due to further appointments before my op.

I asked management to tell the rest of the teaching staff and then I emailed, via our work group, all the other staff with basic details. I put it in a very positive way and made it clear, via friends, that I didn't want lots of sympathetic looks but I also emphasised that if anyone wanted to know more to please come and speak to me as i was happy to talk about it. I decided to use this as an opportunity to also spread the word on how important it was to check your breasts regularly, as this was how I had found my lump.

Although this wasn't necessarily a 'me way' to do things, I'm really happy I took this route. It has made it so much easier at work not having to explain away absenses or people asking what's wrong on a down day. I did find people's reactions interesting, some have just acted like nothing is happening, some have just wanted to hug me; I'm not a natural hugger so very strange and others have asked for more details outright; which I really respect.

That's just my experience if that helps any, very long response but felt I wanted to explain my decision to you. 

Good luck to you in your future cancer journey, xxx