Bilateral vs unilateral

Hi, I’m not sure if I can be much help to you, but I have had a double mastectomy. Disease was in one breast, so I had a single mastectomy at first. I requested a second mastectomy for symmetry, which was not a lie, but if I am truly honest I also hoped it might help to prevent a second cancer. They say that it doesn’t, but psychologically it helps me. But I’m afraid that is as far as it goes. I am 62 and single. I attract men, but would never go beyond friendship or chit-chat. Not now. I am totally flat without prosthetics. I don’t feel attractive at all.  I felt like this after the first mastectomy too, so the second has not made my psyche worse than it already was. There is something else though, regardless of the decisions I made about surgery. Like a lot of us who are post-menopausal, I am on Anastrazole. One of the side effects is that it thins the vaginal wall (atrophy). Sex would be very painful indeed ( it was bad enough for me post menopause, although I used a lubricant with my ex husband). So that is another reason for me not to go down the relationship route. 
You are nearly 30 years younger than me, so that’s why I don’t think I can be of much help to you. But you did ask us to be honest, and this is my experience. I wish you well in your decision xx

Hi, i had a unilateral mastectomy in November. I am staying flat as not enough skin left for reconstruction although there were options at a later date. I am actually fine with only having one boob, and imagine I will only wear a prothesis when ‘dressing up’. I do have the advantage of only being small to start with and at 58 am considerably older than you.

Thank you for your honesty! 

It's a tough choice, especially with the overload of information.

To be honest I am considering immediate reconstruction whether its a bilateral or unilateral mastectomy.

One of the options I have been wondering, at least as an initial step, is reconstruction with implant on one side only and leave the unaffected breast as is for now. But I think that would definitely require many future adjustments to achieve some kind of symmetry...hence my more aggressive initial approach of double mastectomy (with potential dpuble implant reconstruction)

But when your doctor does not appear supportive when there is no medical reason to chop off a healthy breast it really does shake your resolve for an already difficult decision. I don't mean they care only on the medical aspect, but I feel at times they place a lot less emphasis on the emotional part that comes with a pleasing body image one wants to have at mid 30s..
That's why I thought to hear from other that have chosen different options to get a sense of what is life post surgery and potential follow ups for reconstruction...whether the final decisions was to go flat, with 2 implants, with only 1, with tissue transfer, with prosthetic etc

Hello,

I had a lump in one breast and something was detected in the other. This month I should be having a mastectomy and lymph node removal on one side and a lumpectomy on the other as after 3 biopsies it was found to be pre cancerous. I had the same mindset as you 'if one goes so does the other one' but the surgeon convinced me to have a lumpectomy instead. I am weeks away from turning 53 so am a lot older than you and have decided on having no reconstruction. I just want the breast cancer out......whether I feel differently once I have one boob, I will have to wait and see.

I have been told I will need chemo and radiotherapy so I know I have a journey ahead. Since reading this forum I have learned there is no right or wrong answers, it is what is best for you. Whatever you decide, I am sure it will be the right one x

I had single mastectomy with immediate reconstruction, implant as not enough of my own tissue. Double mastectomy when other is healthy & no genetics wasn't on the table. Psychology referral would be required etc

I had a breast reduction on the other side, at first the symmetry wasn't too bad, but I have put a bit of wright on & look a bit lopsided now lol. The implant is also a lot firmer. I'm 55,was 54 when had surgery.

I think once you have your genetic results it will help inform, but from my experience, doctors tend to be against mastectomy of healthy breasts

I hope you get through your treatments OK, you have a very young family 

Best wishes x 

Hiya, 53 and kids are grown.  Had a lumpectomy plus lymph nodes removed on left breast.  I wanted a double mastectomy with aesthetic flat closure (cancer be gone!) As I have struggled with too large breasts all my life, especially the last 20 years.  Docs led me to believe this was an option then pulled the rug from under me once I had done all the research, tormented decision making, discussion with hubby and family etc.  they refused to operate on the healthy breast at all, not even to do a reduction for symmetry etc.  was devastated and had no time or energy to fight so went with easier options. 

Everything went well, have had surgery, chemo for 6 rounds every 3 weeks plus targeted drugs therapy, then radiotherapy and will finish the targeted drugs therapy in March.  On Letrazole (tablet every day) for 5 years and every 6 months go for an infusion of zenopholic acid for bone health.  I had to wait around 10 months for an appointment with genetics to approve me having the test and the wait for results will be 4 months at least so there was no option of me having the results before surgery.

It is ridiculous that I am half hoping to test positive (!) simply to obtain the outcome I wanted, but obviously want to test negative for peace of mind and for my two daughters!  The genetics team have warned me that the result could be negative = no further action/options, positive= options for more robust monitoring or surgery, but it could also come back as neutral= no options but come back in a few years to be tested again as the science will be more advanced.  Also be aware that the genetics test may also flag ovarian cancer and be prepared for decisions about surgery for that if required.

It's a lot isn't it.  Having to make these decisions with so little firm knowledge seems impossible.  Hopefully you will get a definite genetic result before you have to decide on the surgery.

As you are a young woman at a different stage of life to me, it is impossible for me or anyone to advise you, I only wanted to share my experience so you don't waste the painful energy making a decision to have the option removed abruptly as I did.  Pin down the surgeon on exactly what they are willing to do for you and get it in writing if possible.  You should not need to be demanding or pedantic at this difficult time but unfortunately with the crisis in the NHS (especially here in Wales) you need to really be proactive as the staff just don't have the capacity to be on the ball with every patient.

The Breast Cancer Now - Someone Like Me service may be of help to you to chat to a survivor with a similar journey?  Plus the counselling service offered here is excellent.

I hope my rambling thoughts are helpful, sorry to not be all sunshine and rainbows but I have had a rough ride and prefer to be honest about it, warts and all!  The good news is that my hubby has gone for his last immunotherapy infusion for melanoma skin cancer today so that is another milestone ticked off for us yay!  

We take the wins wherever we can find them and always focus forward, the windscreen gives much better visibility than the rear view mirror.

I truly hope that all goes well and if there is anything I can do please reach out.

Much love, BexF

Hi, I’m 35 and I have recently had a double mastectomy with immediate reconstruction even though I only had cancer in 1 breast. There were many reasons I chose to push for the double- preventative, symmetry and peace of mind. 
I did have to push for this choice as it was not something my dr suggested originally but I am pleased with my decision. Even though that breast was healthy, in my mind I know I wouldn’t trust it again. I’m sure you’ll find the right decision for you x