Hey All, This seems to be the place to share without scaring anyone!

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Just diagnosed this Thursday pm, no details till apt next Thursday.

I knew it wasn't going to be good news when they made me & partner a cup of coffee in actual mugs:). Mammogram, Ultrasound, Biopsy, diagnosis, talk of surgery & chemo all in under 2 hours.

Just gone self employed with new business that I love (usual impeccable timing).  Not planning to tell anyone until treatment chat and things a bit clearer but really concerned about telling children (22,22 & 23), as we all live miles away and won't be able to be face to face.

Aaaaaarrggghh!

Best to All x

  • Hi, I have just been diagnosed and like you a whirlwind of info that I'm still trying to process. Doesn't even seen real yet. Surgery this Thursday followed by radiation therapy and hormone blockers. My two adult children took news well, age 19 and 21. Both at home as they have disabilities and mental health needs too. My main concern is still being able to meet all thier needs on top of my own. We are a good team though. Hope you can find support with your friends and family. X

  • Thanks,

    Good to hear your children dealt well with your news, you made me feel a bit braver about telling mine,  still planning that conversation. It's rubbish they have deal with this when they are just finding their feet.

    I moved to a new area 2 years ago to help support my elderly mum, so what with working etc I haven't a big network here and everyone a long way away.  wary of the pressure on my partner and one don't want to burden my mum. So it's especially good to share here.

    Wishing you the best,

    X

  • Thanks for sharing. Your support network is really important. I'm sure many are happy to help as it helps them too, and enables them to feel they can do something about this very difficult time. Kids are stronger than we think even young adults. Let them know you are all in this together as it effects them too. My friend told me that my kids will be fine because you are the glue that holds them all together. Sending love and hugs and hope your conversations with family go well. Xxx

  • Hi, sorry to hear that you have been diagnosed.  It is all a whirlwind, especially at the beginning.  A lot to take in.  I was diagnosed in July and have had surgery, on hormone therapy now and start radiotherapy next week.  Like you we moved quite a long way away from both our sons, so it was hard telling them at the time.  But they took it well and have accepted it all and been very supportive.  They are more resilient then we think.  I wish you well with your treatments.  You will do this.  Xx

  • Hi   welcome to the club nobody wants to join but once here realise right place to be for support and answers .

    My treatment plan story is on my profile just click on my name if you want to read .

    This is the worst part all the waiting until something happens . We all hate the waiting !! I had such tidy cupboards and wardrobes.

    My children were older so I can’t help with how your children might react . My daughter came to all meetings with me as the sensible ears who was able to write notes . Husband was the one who wouldn’t be able to cope . Son was other side of the country but was quite matter of fact as he had supported a previous partner thru BC .

    Granchildren who were closer in age to your children and spread around the country were concerned but ok . Only the 22 yr old who is on the autistic spectrum had lots of questions .

    one thing I did do was nominated 2/3 people to tell ex work colleagues and caravan friends along with the wish not to walk on eggshells around me as I preferred it was out in open and discussed if they wished . Partly because I found it easier to talk about it and also to encourage others to go for mammograms as it wouldn’t have been detected without as I had no symptoms

    Again Sorry you still in shock bit like being on a roller coaster but it does get easier as your treatment starts daft as that sounds but at least you then know the big  Poop is getting a good kicking .

    I’m still here after getting the diagnosis in 2019 followed by MX 8 days later finished treatment in Dec 22 signed off Feb 23 just mammograms now 

    Only advice I can give is keep busy in waiting times , listen to body during treatment . 
    Keep browsing thru threads there are some really helpful ones 

    I’m usually on Awake thread where we just have a good chat and laugh …yes it is allowed Joy 

    One step at a time and ...Breathe !
    xoxox
    Margaret
  • Hi Jeniflower  I feel for you.  I was diagnosed in mid august, had all the tests - mammogram, biopsie, MRSs scans etc and began my chemo almost two weeks ago.  

    It is difficult with family so far away - I live in France - and it is more difficult for them I think than it is for me.  As they want to keep travelling to see me.  Lots of face time on messenger etc.  My eldest daughter (49) will be travelling out again this weekend coming and two more times before December.  As I result I am hoping and looking to transfer back to UK.  The service here in France is second to none, but it is a worry that she is travelling constantly here - I live where there is next to no transport.  I found out about my cancer just days before all three (the other two are 43 and 44) came out for a holiday to me in August.... 

    I feel for you, I have done the employed and self employed business in the past and had a few years ago retired.  Time to go travelling I thought - first Covid hit, impeccable timing; I managed to do a little last year, this year was to be all the historical sites in Italy and Spain...... well, will all have to wait.

    All the best xx

  • Hi  and another warm welcome to the forum. Lots of lovely messages already from the fine folks here, just thought I’d add a bit to the telling the kids chat. It was what I dreaded most too but was fine when it actually took place, although like you it wasn’t possible face to face. I kept the fact that it was pretty definitely cancer under my hat at first as daughter (22 then) was about to fly off to Borneo for a month in a jungle (research project) then on to Australia for up to two years! So just said I was having a lump removed, like I had many years previously (which turned out to be benign). Once she’d gone, we told the details to my son (then 24) who was studying in Canada. Not an easy conversation but was able to put a positive spin on it - caught early, small, no sign of spread. Wasn’t able to speak to daughter till after the op, when she’d finished her month in the jungle and had arrived in Australia. Another difficult conversation but by then I’d had the op and had a ‘plan’ - radiotherapy and hormone blockers. Again, emphasised the positives. 
    So, good luck with your conversations, I’m sure like me it will be better in reality than the thought of it. And take heart from the many people here who are still, like me, rattling around the site many years on! I’m past the 5 years post diagnosis point, still popping the pills but getting on with my life. 
    Love and hugs, HFxx

    HappyFeet1 xx
    Don’t be afraid to cry. It will free your mind of sorrowful thoughts. – Hopi
  • Can I just say thanks to all who replied above with all fab info & experiences, wow - I love everything everyone said.  Except my waiting time doesn't include cleaning yet Northerner........, - maybe I should try Slight smile  People would know there was really something wrong if I started ironing Joy.   Anyway, roll on Thursday and finding out whether things are s**t or really s**tUpside down.   Take it easy all. love xx

  • really good advice, had full mastectomy 12th october, lymph nodes came back positive so bone dye tomorrow then couple of hours later bone scan, with ct scan monday.  praying it hasnt gone elsewhere, thought the mastectomy and missing right boob was the worst that could happen, what a rollercoaster this is, love to you all, keep us updated with your journeys, it helps so much on here xx

  • hope tomorrows events pass smoothly for you, x