Breast cancer - why am I not freaking out ?

Hi, I am sorry you have had to join this forum.  I felt exactly the same as you when I was diagnosed and have not broken down once.  I have no idea why?  At first I felt numb, then very practical when I had excepted it and worried more about other people and my family. I felt calmer once my op was over and I am recovering and awaiting the results of my lymph nodes biopsy.  The feeling of it not been real is spot on.  I felt that too right up until I was waiting to go to theatre for the op.  So you are not alone there.  I wish you well for your op and you will feel a lot better once the treatments start.  I also agree the service has been excellent so far and I am extremely grateful for everyone’s support and help.  Sending you hugs, we have got this xx

you are in the first stage, i am not going to say denial but still taking it in I suppose in a way.

its the unreality, you know it is real but its still like it is hapeenin to someone else, the matrix you maybe lol.

can’t answer how to do much except know it is real and we all have different coping mechanisms. my husband was telling me in the beginning how strong and impressed he was at how calm i was, reckon i was a bit like you with some times of crying (on my own, dont even like crying in front of him much, but know i can) 

i also see past this time 

It sounds familiar, denial, is it happening to someone else? Disbelief. Even after the surgery I still couldn't believe it. The brain can't take that the body has malfunctioned and let us down. Even now 8:mths later I know it happened but still a bit phased by it all. It is like going through the motions. 1st stage of grief is denial. 

It's happened to so many of us now, all ages more in the post 50 group possibly. I never really thought about it, hardly ever felt for lumps but something started me feeling it. It wasn't a lump exactly but in a milk duct, more like a small tube. Accept everything they offer someone said. I did, just swapped to Tamoxifen after 3 mths of Letrozole. My knee and osteoporosis didnt like it. Be kind to yourself. Walking helped me, hiding away isn't good. Xx

Hi, from being diagnosed and throughout treatment last year, my emotions basically shut down and I just went into practical mode. I didn't really feel anything. I've spoken to some other women, who have said exactly the same. I chatted to my GP and she said it's the brain's way of protecting itself. I wish you all the best with your treatment.

Hi, i had a mastectomy on one side and no reconstruction 7 weeks ago and happy to report recovering well. Like you my main concern initially was how everyone else would feel when i told them and I think I just went into 'survival' mode whilst loved ones seemed to find it harder to deal with than I did. I had every faith I would get through and I have. Someone else told me that for her loved ones it was like they were struggling with the doggie paddle and their heads kept going under, whereas she just fought like hell to survive. I planned ahead to my recovery period, put in the regular supermarket deliveries and took any offer of help I could get. Don't get me wrong, there have been some tears, but mainly of relief I think, that things went smoothly and quickly. Best advice I can give is do those arm exercises!! They're horrid but crucial. And if and when you break down, allow yourself to let it go! Wishing you all the very best x

The worst has happened, the rug well and truly snatched from under our feet. Also feeling so lucky about surgery and treatment when some have to wait years for theirs. It's such a lot to take in when in freeze frame. 

It all happens so quickly. Life defining and life changing. A lot of people where I live are in the cancer club as someone said, due to age of population. I feel this is less than my son's Epilepsy, seeing him with navy lips during seizures is really scary. He nearly drowned last year doing his favourite  thing. I have to stay alive to support him and help the carers. He is home at present though. Love him so much. 

I feel I have beaten this disease and I will again if it comes back. My Mother made it to 86 yrs with everything that she went through in life I'm going to do the same. I'm with a group of warrior women, my dance buddies quite a few of them have been through this. 

I was the same, didn't freak out at all just got on with it. I had a couple of 'moments' while waiting for scan results but apart from that.... but everyone is different and cope in different ways I guess. I am now a few months from final treatment, just waiting for final reconstruction and to be honest I still feel as though 'it' happened to someone else if that makes sense? 

Take care xx

Morning Mummyrunner,

I’m not sure what mode I went into other than kept busy and kept strong.  I thought at the end of the day it is what it is and it needed to be rid of - the sooner the better.

I am now 5 weeks since I had my mx with no reconstruction - my tumour was 10cm but they were able to remove all of it with margins which is good. The lymph’s were cleared with most being infected - I had other scans & these confirmed no spreading so I am thankful for that.  Chemo starts Friday with radiotherapy to follow.

Most of the time I keep it together - it’s the waiting which i find can be frustrating.

Good luck with your journey to recovery , Jules

I was the same. Have not cried and just could not believe it when I was told. Still feel the same. 

I have had surgery and no chemo needed thank goodness, waiting for Radiotherapy appointment.  

I feel kind of the same. My response has been described as 'brave' and 'strong' but that's absolutely not it. I'm just practical and logical and a generally optimistic person. Right from the point of having my ultrasound and biopsies, the consultant radiologist said that she was certain the biopsy results would show cancer but that it looked to have been caught early. So, I focused on that. I'm not one for catastrophising things generally and so I haven't catastrophised this. I know many women who have walked this path before me and almost all of them are doing well.

The diagnosis is a jigsaw of pieces that build up to the complete picture which defines your treatment. My biopsies were ER/PR +ve and HER2 -ve so my treatment will involve radiotherapy and, very probably, Letrozole once my menopausal status has been confirmed via blood tests.  I'm now 3 weeks post lumpectomy and am being bothered by nerve pain so will pop into the open clinic this week and get some advice. I'm hoping it'll fade in time with physio exercises and painkillers for now, but I know other pain relief options are available if it doesn't settle. 

I think what I'm saying is that there's no right or wrong response, only your response. And as long as you're not consciously just bottling things up, a calm response is absolutely fine. I keep being told it'll hit me later. Maybe it will, but maybe it won't. Who knows?

For now, be good to yourself, Mummyrunner.