lone parent / professional writer - nervously facing chemo

Hi Sweetpie, sorry your on the “bus” with us but know you are not travelling alone 

I had lumpectomy surgery in Feb, 2 tumours & lymph nodes removed & having FEC-T chemo, round 2 was Monday 

Im cold capping but started falling out last week, last 2 days make my floors look like a bear had finally woken after hibernation  I cried, I hoped I would get some good news & keep my hair…..I am also an optimist so had already got s fabulous wig, scarves, beanies & turbans . If they let me I will continue with the cap 

I also work full time & it’s been my saviour/ my normal/ my controlled space 

my company are brilliant & I feel no pressure to be at but most days I am on fire  

your career will always be there, do what’s right for you right now & allow yourself to change your mind often 

no bald zoom calls for me either!

keep us all updated on how you go on & your progress xxx

Hi Sweetiepie

Like you, I am facing the dilemma of what to do about work. I started my job 2 months before my diagnosis. I am 5 weeks post operation and waiting for results which has left me in limbo. I don’t know if I have clear margins from the op or whether I will need to have another op. I am her2 positive so I believe I will be having chemo too (initially it was surgery, radiation, hormone treatment) and that for me makes work tricky. I am hoping I will be able to combine work with chemo but again I don’t know how I will reast to treatment. From what I have read on this forum it would appear some people have been able to do both, others have had debilitating side effects. I have decided I am going to try it and see. 

I totally understand what you mean about hair loss, I work with vulnerable young people and I do not want to scare them by a change in my appearance!!!! I have looked at some of the chemo threads on here and bookmarked them as they have some great advice on how to prepare and manage chemo. 

Lastly, unfortunately you will realise I have no pearls of wisdom but you are not alone in your dilemma about what to do about work. I am slowly coming to the conclusion that for me it will be a wait and see. 

I wish you the best of luck in your journey and I am sending lots of positive vibes ️

Hi SweetiePie, sorry to hear of your diagnosis. I had 4 cycles of EC and 4 cycles of Docetaxel with Phesgo (last one on Thursday). I had surgery first and was off work for that. I didn’t return to work until I was on my 3rd cycle of EC. So I had about 3 months off work. After my ops (I had 2) I couldn’t drive and make it was my left arm and after lymph node clearance I struggled with numbness and pain. Whilst on EC my first week after i was tired and had skin, bone and muscle soreness, so again didn’t go into work. I would return for a few days when I was feeling better then I would be off again for a while after my next chemo. It has been similar on Docetaxel too. I go into work when I can. Luckily they are very understanding. I did start on shorter hours but now I work almost a full day. I start radiotherapy in May so will have to see how I go. It’s hard to predict how you will feel and plan ahead with regards to work. It’s worth discussing with them to see if they would take each day as it comes. If you feel well enough to work you will. I know this can be a difficult approach as some companies want to know in advance but this is something that can’t really be worked out as you don’t know how you will feel. 
I used the scalp cooling cap and did loose most of my hair. I have persevered and now on Docetaxel my hair is growing again. It helps with the regrowth hence why I carried on. 
I have wigs, beanies and scarves and depending on my mood depends on which I wear. I got help wi th my wig via my local Macmillan centre. The lady was fantastic and we found a wig that I liked. I did that before I started chemo so she could see what my natural hair was like which helps. I also did a Headwrappers session to learn how to tie scarves which was great. You also get a free goodie bag. 
To help with make up and eyebrows and lashes I did a look good feel better course. You get a fantastic goodie bag with lots of make up, cleansers etc and it free. This helped boost my confidence when I had no eyebrows or lashes.

I have my chemo bag packed so it’s ready to go. Magazines, book, iPad, EarPods, snacks and drink. I also take a fluffy cardigan and sliopers. These make me feel more comfortable and the cardigan so I can snuggle whilst I use the scalp cooling cap. 
sorry there is a lot to digest. If you click on my name you can read my journey so far. 
Wishing you all the best for your journey

Hugs from cuffcake x x x x x

Hi there, so, whilst it's different for everyone and chemo affects us all individually, I worked throughout my treatment, working from home. My colleagues all knew about my diagnosis and were very supportive. A few things I'd suggest that worked for me.

Firstly, as soon as my hair started falling out I shaved it and got a wig. A few people assumed it was a new hair style (which took me by surprise so be ready to answer that one) but this really helped on video calls.

Also, if you can clear your diary from early morning calls, that helps you get a more natural waking up time, so better sleep. I was lucky and could do this. I also soon figured out that Days 4&5 after chemo were the hardest, so I kept my diary clear these days. Make a note of your side effects after cycle 1, they tend to follow a fairly similar pattern.

i blogged throughout, have a read as there might be more useful stuff in here too. Blog link

best wishes and keep coming with any more questions you have

Thank you so much - I have read your entire blog today and have learned so much.

I didn't even know there was a blogging function here - I've been so overwhelmed I don't seem to have time to explore anything that isn't vital. And this is a whole new language in a whole new world as you know.

Thank you so much for sharing and replying you have boosted my confidence about approaching work - and I have taken on board that maybe the chemo cycles will have a pattern that means they are more manageable as they progress and I learn to combat symptoms (or not!). I am feeling more hopeful in that department.

thank you again 

Hi Mrs Magoo - thank you for taking the time to respond. It seems we are in similar territory although I can see that your work dilemmas as much more tricky than mine. My treatment is moving at what feels like a very fast and urgent pace - I had a grade 3 tumour and all my lymph nodes removed  - initially I'd hoped for only radio too but now I face chemo - even tho I was Her2 negative with clear margins - they're going belt and braces because I'm "young and fit'. the only good thing in any of this is that they keep calling me young and fit!.

However, it's a mystery to us all and I'm fast coming to realise that Cancer is always uncharted territory.

I've been looking at hats, scarves, wigs online for days - advice seems to be get it done before, while you have your hair - but I've not been referred to the wig specialist - so I assume that comes after oncology appt but I've already been told my treatment will start a week after that appt - which doesn't leave much time....my efforts to make a timeline /organise never seem to work with cancer = as they've not for you.

I do hope you're released from your limbo soon - I will do more research on here about hair and wigs - I read the whole of IrishGirl16's blog (see comment below) which I found really useful.

Take care and keep in touch 

Hi there, I am so glad you found the blog useful, it really helped me to write it, and I actually find it's good now as I do tend to forget what happened when or what I was feeling. I hope you find a way to figure out work that works for you and I hope you have a supportive boss, that makes a difference. Best wishes 

Thank you for taking the time to reply. I would love to hear more about your fabulous wig, scarves and turbans... when does the wig appointment happen - after oncology? Is there time to still get that sorted - I think I will only have a week or so between oncology appt and starting chemo - I've read that it's best done while you still have your full head of hair? Wondering how that fits in?

Hi, I’d ask your hospital Dept if they have a wig specialist as many do. In my local hospital there was a lady who came in once a week for appointments and she was super. And I don't think it matters when you get your wig fitted. I must admit, I used it as a chance to go for something completely different and I loved it.

See you have had lots of lovely helpful replies - thought would just let you know that after 3 rounds of EC treatment and cold capping I have still retained my hair - I think its 50/50 whether you do or don’t. The cold capping isn't easy but its tolerable - you just have to get through the first 10 mins of the freeze!

Happy to answer any questions!

Jan