So very scared

Hi there and welcome to the forum…… I just wanted to say that how you are feeling right now is perfectly understandable and very common. I would say it’s the worst bit of the journey you are possibly going to go on……. If I say don’t worry I am sure that will be of no use as so am Sure you will. I clearly remember those days at the beginning and how awful it was to keep myself together……. However… your doctor is right, breast cancer is very treatable now and these are the words you must try to hold on to for now, until you have the fulL picture. The waiting is absolutely awful I know. But I want to reassure you that once you have had time to take it all in and know what the plan is you WILL feel in more control of the situation which will make you feel better too….. Wishing you the best of luck with all of your results and hoping for the very best outcomes for you. Take care for now and try and do a little something nice for yourself each day whilst you are waiting……. Even if it’s a small thing. Xxxxx

Hi S1977

I am going through the same thing. They diagnosed me with breast cancer based on the ultrasound. I then spent 2 weeks thinking my life was over. It is so tough. Allow yourself to be emotional and take everything a day at a time. At my next appointment, following biopsy results, they were able to give me a lot more details and reassure me somewhat. I'm still awaiting CT and HER2 results and the waiting is so tough. Listen to the experts and trust they are being as honest as possible with you. You may not be able to take the worry away completely during this waiting period, but focus on tiny steps rather than the enormity of it all. Getting through each day. You will feel a bit better when you have more answers and a plan. Be kind to yourself and feel whatever you're feeling. Try and do as many normal things as you can. You will get through this time.

Thanks so much for your kind words.... Yes, the not being in control part is so bad... I'm glad to hear it may get a bit easier once I know more...   Xxxxxx 

Hi Tabbycat,

Thank you so much and I'm so sorry to hear you're going through the same experience. You're right, I also feel like my life is over... Thanks for your advice. It is enormous and hard to get a perspective. It's good not to feel so alone in all this... I'm glad you were somewhat reassured at your appointment and hoping for very good results of your remaining tests. The wait is absolute hell. Thanks very much again.   

I'd describe it as a living nightmare. There is so much unknown at this stage. Waiting for news is just awful.

Have you told anyone close to you? I've gained a lot of comfort from friends and family. Though it can be hard if people react in a panicked way. I've asked friends to send me funny cat pictures and silly memes to help my mood and to feel less alone. 

Rest assured you're not alone. I've found out so many people I know (and friends of friends) have had breast cancer and got better. There's so much research and development into this I guess we have to trust the experts know how to tackle it. 

Yes, a living nightmare, I was just thinking that this morning, and it comes so sudden. I have told my family and closest friends. It was terrible to tell them because you don't want to worry people, but they have been very supportive. Funny cat pictures are a good idea, I love them too :-). 

And, yes, you're right I've also heard many positive stories, and we have to trust the experts. They want to make us better and they'll do everything possible... I'm sure.

Hi S1977 - I know and feel your pain.  I found a lump on New Years Eve!!! had mamogram, ultrasound, MRI PET Scan and brain scan - believe me, the hospitals do these tests so they KNOW where the cancer is, and for no other reason.  Not that they believe it has spread, bu just to know where exactly and what they are dealing with.  My tests revealed I had two different types of cancer in the same breast -one of which would not have been diagnosed without the MRI, as a result of that knowledge they had, and after all the results, I was told I needed a mastectomy, which I have now had, and of course awaiting further treatment.   The way i dealt with those dark days of thinking I was going to die - and we have those days believe me, was to say to myself 'I am not dying today', and I can only deal with today, I have no control over what is going to happen tomorrow.  I have been diagnosed with tripple negative breast cancer, but without those tests my cancer would be the same as everyone elses ... Breast cancer is breast cancer right - no wrong, eveyone one of us has a different diagnosis and a different outcome, and a different treatment regime.  Just accept that this year will be full of hospital appointments and tests, and your life  WILL have to revolve around them.  This time next year you will feel completely different, and you will be a survivor, you will not die - although, black humour here, we all die, but just not yet.  you will get through this, but you have to be strong and positive.  you know that saying 'when life gives you lemons make lemonade'? well when life throwns you shitt just chuck it back..  Stay strong, with love and complete understanding B.eastend

Hi B.eastend, thanks so much for the positive post. So sorry to hear you've been through this hell as well and you're very brave. It's been very good talking to people going through the same nightmare and getting different perspectives. You're right. There will be different times...